


Amy

by pulpobsessed



Series: The Amy Verse (Previously known as the Mr. Banana Verse) [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Adoption, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Family, Fatherhood, Fluff, M/M, New York, Romance, Work Up For Adoption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28307727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulpobsessed/pseuds/pulpobsessed
Summary: At thirty-five years old, Dave and Kurt decide to take the next big step in their marriage, by adopting a child. This is the story of how Amy came into their lives.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/David Karofsky
Series: The Amy Verse (Previously known as the Mr. Banana Verse) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009944
Comments: 14
Kudos: 10
Collections: Secret Santa 2020 - Dave Karofsky Discord





	1. Hoping for Amy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [casienfey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casienfey/gifts).



> A Secret Santa gift for the amazing Rynbie! Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy this! I had a lot of fun writing it for you!

**Christmas 2027**

Dave Karofsky scrolled slowly through the application form on his iPad, frowning slightly as he made an adjustment here or there - changing the number of rooms in their house and correcting a misspelling of his last name. But other than that, it all looked good. 

He wet his lips and looked around the narrow solarium that doubled as their dining room. The room was ablaze with light from the sun streaming in through the wall of windows that looked out onto their cold and snowy backyard.

As the sun glinted off the gold band on his left hand, he smiled and ran a finger across it. He loved the weight and feel of his wedding ring, it reminded him everyday of how exceptionally lucky he was. And it always kept him grounded whenever he started to feel as if his life was a dream - it reminded him that everything that had happened in his life was real. 

Plus, every time he touched it, he got to remember his wedding, which had been the greatest day of his life. Even better than the day he graduated with his doctorate, or the day he’d moved to New York… it was better than any other day. It had been a warm June day, when he had stood on Cherry Hill in Central Park, tearfully promising to love and cherish Kurt Hummel, the love of his life, forever. 

Just as he started daydreaming about his wedding, the soft sound of music drifted in from the front room of their Park Slope brownstone. Sighing, he drained the rest of his coffee with a small smile on his face. He was continuously blown away by the idea that he owned a house in New York City. A home he owned and shared with his amazing husband. 

Who, from the sounds of it, was listening to Christmas music. This probably meant that their front room was currently under assault by whatever tasteful Christmas decorations Kurt had decided was going to grace their home this year. 

Although this year, Dave was determined to have some input. 

Last year, it had all been white lights, boughs of holly and pine, and enough candles to be a fire hazard. Dave’s suggestions had been… considered, but not really realized. Apparently, Santa was a bit too childish for the look Kurt had wanted to achieve. Well, tough luck, babe, cause this year, Dave was going to have his Santa Clauses. Besides, having some childish decorations would be good practice. 

This was their second Christmas in their home and, although they were flying home to Ohio for Christmas Eve and Day, they loved going all out with the decorations. It was something that Dave and Kurt both just wanted to do as homeowners. It made them feel even more connected to their home and neighborhood. 

They’d bought the house after Dave had gotten a position as an assistant professor in Economics at New York University and Kurt had directed his first major Broadway production - a drag version of Evita, which had earned him a Tony. When they’d sat down with a financial advisor, they’d both been completely shocked to discover that they  _ could _ afford to own property in New York... or rather, Brooklyn. 

And so, at thirty-three years old, Dave and Kurt had become homeowners. 

A fact that still could make them fall into huge fits of laughter - they had a home. A really nice home too! Three stories, six bedrooms - two of which were now home offices - and three bathrooms. A rooftop patio, a garden space with a fancy bar-b-que, and hundreds of little touches that made this house their home. 

Dave loved the old wooden window frames, doorways, and fireplaces. The oak staircase leading up from the first to the second floor. Or the old tiled mosaic in the bathroom that looked like a fifteenth-century map. Or the iron paned glass windows. He loved the way all these things gave their home character and feeling. 

They both loved their home. They loved it more than either of them ever thought possible. Strangely, as Kurt pointed out, their house was exactly what they’d always envisioned when they first moved to New York as stupid college kids. Buying this house had felt like the cumulation of a dream. 

Sixteen years ago, they had declared themselves New Yorkers - long before they really understood what that meant. And now, all these years later, they truly were a part of this city, their heartbeat with the same energy. 

They had once been young idiot kids, utterly in love with each other, and finding their way through life. And now, in their early thirties and still utterly in love with each other, they had found a place in the world. As always, they had each other and New York, but they also had careers, a home, and lives that made them so happy and fulfilled in every possible way. 

Except for one. A fact they were about to change. 

Dave pushed himself up from the dining table and stretched - his t-shirt riding up a little, exposing his belly. He quickly smoothed the shirt back into place, he didn’t need a reminder of his weight, in fact, he absolutely refused to let anything dampen his mood today. Instead, he’d go check on Kurt and maybe see if he wanted to hit send on this thing - if he wanted to change their lives. 

He picked up the iPad and walked into their absolutely bright and spotless kitchen, his bare feet making soft padding sounds against the marble floor. He refilled his coffee mug and nodded at a sleeping cat - Keynes - who was curled up on her bed in a sunbeam on the kitchen floor. He was about to head into the living room but paused and grabbed a second mug of coffee. As he walked into the living room, a smile grew on his face when saw his husband busy decorating. 

Kurt was standing on a small step ladder by the fireplace, hanging a massive garland of spruce and pine that was woven through with twinkling white lights. He had on one of Dave's huge Columbia University t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. Dave watched as Kurt stood on the tips of his toes, trying to fit the garland around the very top of the fireplace’s overmantle without dislodging or knocking off any of the ornaments he’d already set out. He was singing along to Bing Crosby's White Christmas while he worked. 

Kurt seemed to be in his own little world, not really paying attention to what he was doing or what was happening. Dave sighed as Kurt started to sway in time with the music, which brought him dangerously close to flying off the ladder. Rather than risk either a ruined coffee table or a damaged husband, Dave put down the iPad and coffees on a side table and hurried to grab Kurt by the waist just as he was about to flip headfirst off the ladder. 

Kurt gave a little scream of surprise, “Dave!” 

“Hi, babe.” Dave grinned at him, as he helped Kurt straighten himself on the ladder. 

“What are you doing? You scared me.” 

“I’m sorry, but you were about to tumble headfirst off the ladder and straight into our coffee table.”

“Oh.” Kurt blushed. “Well, then I’m glad you came in when you did!” 

“I thought you were going to ask for help, so we could decorate together.” 

“Yeah, but you looked busy in the dining room, so I figured I’d let you do your work, and then we’d do the tree…” 

Dave shook his head and smiled, “I wasn’t working, I was double-checking the application again.” 

Kurt’s eyes grew huge, as he dropped the garland, knocking over a little display of carolers, and scrambled down the ladder. “Oh! Did it look okay?”

“Yeah. We put down four bedrooms instead of six and somehow managed to spell my last name wrong again…”

“You’d think after thirty-five years, you’d remember…” 

“Think of it as an absent-minded professor's affectation. But otherwise, I really think it’s good to go. I think we should send it!” Dave wrapped his arms loosely around Kurt’s waist. 

“Wow. Okay! Wow…should we send it now?” 

Dave looked around the front room and all the parts of his life that made him feel so grown up. The real, but as yet undecorated, Christmas tree in the front window; the long brown leather couch - complete with a second sleeping cat, Winston; the large chair that Dave loved reading in; the large wall-mounted TV; their glass-topped coffee table; and the wide doors that led into their front hallway with stairs heading upstairs - the banister of which was already heavily wrapped with garland. It was a very adult living room, one that belonged to two men who had been building a life together for so long. 

But it wasn't enough for them anymore. 

His mind wandered upstairs, to the decent-sized bedroom - across the hall from theirs. It was a room that was still unpainted and empty. Because they didn’t know whose home it would be yet. It sat waiting - a blank canvas - ready for its future occupant to make their mark on it. 

It was the room that would one day become their son or daughter’s room. 

He stepped closer to his husband, tightening his arms and laying his head on Kurt’s shoulder, “Yeah, Kurt, I think we should.” 

“Then let’s do it! And after I want champagne.” 

As they settled on the sofa together, a small white kitten - Judy - curled up on Kurt’s lap. Dave brought up the adoption agency’s webpage and logged into the secure page dedicated to their application. The spot to upload their application was just...right there. They looked at each other for a moment, both swallowing thickly. This moment felt so weighed down by so many things - the anticipation of what was to come, and all the hopes and plans they’d made which lead to this moment. 

“This is it,” Kurt said quietly, “We do this, and there’s no turning back. Are you ready?” 

Dave licked his lips. He knew all about the stress they were about to endure. He had read about the adoption process in dozens of books - they were about to open their lives up to strangers. Every aspect of their lives would be investigated. They were about to endure so much - background checks, home visits, meetings, interviews, training sessions, and that was just the official process. They’d be plagued with indecision, worry and in the end, it might be all for naught. 

But no matter what, after they hit send, their lives would never be the same again. 

Dave’s work at NYU would be put under a microscope - his lessons, his classes, his writing, his research, and even his colleagues. Kurt’s world would be raked through with a fine-tooth comb - every actor he worked with, every assistant he had, every idea, play, musical… all of it. Nothing would be left undisturbed. 

Their friends and family would be examined. Everyone from their fathers to Finn and his boyfriend, to Az, Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, and Aaron. Hell, even their three cats were probably going to be investigated. 

No part of their lives would remain undisturbed. 

For the last sixteen years, ever since moving to New York, they had built a life together - joys, laughs, excitement, tears, hurt… all of the beautiful things that came with making a life together. And it had been theirs. All theirs. But now, they were about to blow those doors wide open and expose that life for all to see. 

But, in the end, they might become parents. They would have the ability to do some good in the world and help a child that needed help. A child who needed them.

Dave closed his eyes again - and he pictured them, with a little boy or girl, sitting in this room. They were laughing, maybe over something on TV or getting ready to celebrate Christmas. But it didn’t matter, because the image was right. It was all just exactly right. It had been right when he was eighteen, dreaming of having a family, and it felt right at this second, on the precipice of that dream becoming a reality. 

Dave’s voice was soft, almost a whisper, “I want to be a dad, Kurt. I want to be a dad so badly that it hurts sometimes. I want this. I want this so very much. And I want it with you.” 

Kurt took his hand, holding it tightly, and whispered, “Then do it. Let’s do it together.” He reached out and took Dave’s other hand, straightening out one finger and laying his over top. Then, together, they tapped “SUBMIT.” 

The screen went blank for a second, before reloading and informing them, “YOUR APPLICATION HAS BEEN SUBMITTED. THANK YOU.”

Dave looked at the screen, a torrent of butterflies tumbling around in his stomach - impatience already burning in his gut. He wanted to know right now! Even though he knew it could take months before they even heard back from the agency, all he wanted was for the phone to ring now. He looked at Kurt, feeling that familiar burn of tears in his eyes. He was unsurprised to find Kurt’s eyes were also wet. Pulling Kurt into a hug, and pressing his face against Kurt’s neck, Dave whispered, “Thank you. Thank you for doing this with me!” 

Kurt wrapped his arms around Dave and started to smooth down Dave’s hair, rocking him slowly in a way that always relaxed Dave, “You have nothing to thank me for, Dave. I want this too! I want us to be fathers together. I want us to bring joy to a child’s life! No matter what!” 

Their entire life together had been based on the fulfillment of dreams, and this was yet another dream they shared, one they would see through together. 

Dave felt this intense rush of emotion that was suddenly too much to handle. His whole body started to shake as he let out this giant sob against Kurt’s skin. He might become a father! Oh, holy fuck! He clung to Kurt like he would a life preserver, sobbing into him. Kurt just held him tighter - whispering to him and rocking him gently. 

“It’s okay, my love. It’s okay.” 

Slowly, Dave’s sobs lessened and his breathing returned back to normal. He sat up, wiping his eyes sniffling, but he was smiling widely. He flopped back against the sofa, keeping his hand in Kurt’s. “Holy shit! We just submitted our application to adopt a kid, Kurt!” 

“We did! Merry Christmas to us, huh?!” 

“Yeah, Merry Fucking Christmas to us!” 

Kurt laughed and launched himself at Dave, sending Judy flying off of the couch in shock. They hugged each other tightly, their laughter echoing throughout their home.

They ended up with Dave on his back, stretched out on the couch, and Kurt hovering over him, bracing himself on his elbows. Dave craned his neck upwards, pressing their lips together, moaning into the kiss. 

Pulling out of the kiss, Kurt rested his forehead against Dave’s, sighing softly. 

“Hey, Kurt?” Dave whispered. 

“Yeah?”

“We’re gonna be dads.” 

“We are. Wow.” Kurt shifted so he was lying on his side, his head tucked under Dave’s chin. “I love you, Dave .” 

“I love you too. Do you still want to decorate?” 

“Yes, in a bit, but let’s just stay here for a little while, okay?” 

“That’s perfectly fine by me!” Dave glanced around the room again, “I like what you’ve done so far, but I’m noticing there’s a distinct lack of Santas.” 

“Good lord, you and those Santas! I just haven’t unboxed them, my love.” 

“Just checking! Hey, I have an idea…” 

“What?” Kurt nuzzled Dave’s chest, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. 

“Let’s order dinner - we haven’t done that in weeks, and I think we deserve it. Maybe that new Mexican place.” 

“Decorating for Christmas, tacos with champagne, and maybe a Christmas movie? That sounds like a perfect night to me.” 

“Perfect.” Dave echoed as he rubbed small circles into Kurt’s side. And it was… it would be. 

They lay like that for a while, eventually pushing themselves up and starting to decorate, while Michael Buble played quietly in the background. Then, they curled into each other, eating tacos with Scrooge on their large TV. 

It was a quiet night, in the middle of a quiet life. A life defined by love. 

And that night, they fell asleep holding each other in their large bed, surrounded by the trappings of a life neither took for granted. As they slept, somewhere out there in a city that had given them so much, someone was waiting. 


	2. Waiting for Amy

**{One Year Later}**

“Fucking fuck!” Dave groaned and pushed back from his desk, the wheels of his desk chair rattling against the hardwood floor. Peeking back at his laptop, he shuddered at the sight of the email open on the screen: 

_ Professor Karofsky, _

_ I hope you will forgive the length of this missive, but I continue to struggle with my next chapter. Perhaps if we could…  _

“No, Michael, I do not forgive the length of your  _ missive _ . And stop using the word missive!” Dave grumbled under his breath. 

He sighed. The entire morning had felt like a waste, and now this. Quite suddenly, all he wanted was to get very far away from his computer and Michael’s intense email. No one had told him that having a Ph.D. student would mean quite so much handholding.

“It does not sound like you’re having a good morning, my love.” 

He turned to see Kurt leaning against the door of the office. He was dressed in a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt from his production of Evita. And he was carrying two steaming cups of coffee. 

Dave’s eyes shot straight to his favorite NYU mug. “Is that for me?” 

Kurt laughed and walked in, settling himself in Dave’s reading chair next to the window. He held out Dave’s mug, “Based on the amount of swearing happening in here, I thought you could use one.” 

Dave gripped the mug and took a long swallow - sighing audibly as he sat back. “Thank you. I needed that.” 

“Are you okay?’ 

Dave nodded, his nose still stuck inside the mug, “Yeah, it’s nothing serious, just a few first world problems. But this tenure letter is making my head hurt, on top of this damn grad studies directorship, and Michael just sent me a panicked three-page email about his next chapter. I told him his topic was still too broad and vague.”

“I seem to remember more than a few emails being sent at three in the morning to your supervisor when you were sure you were about to crash and burn.” 

“I know - he read them out loud at dinner after my defense, remember?”

“Oh, I remember! I still wish I’d taken a video - your dad would've loved it.” 

“Maybe he could have done some video art and put it next to the shadow box he has with my dissertation.” Dave glanced back at his laptop, scanning the email open on his screen. “I wasn’t this bad when I was writing, was I?”

“No, because you had me to talk it through - even if I understood about three percent of what you were saying. You really did pick the least gay subject to specialize in.” 

“I’m not sure what a gay subject would be.”

“Probably queer studies or English literature. Certainly not math stuff.” 

“Don’t stereotype, babe. And I’m a behavioral economist!”

“It’s still all numbers to me.” 

“One day, you’re gonna come to one of my first-year classes and be blown away by how awesome economics is! Unless Michael drives me to drink before then.” 

“Dave, he just looks up to you. You’re like his academic daddy!” 

Dave squirmed at Kurt’s phrasing, “Can I forbid you from ever using that phrase again, please. I’m no one’s  _ daddy _ .” 

Kurt nodded silently, giving Dave a look that clearly said,  _ At least not yet _ . 

Dave looked away for a moment, fully aware that eventually, they’d get around to  _ that _ topic, every conversation eventually ended up there. He took a sip of his coffee and smiled at Kurt, before asking, “I thought you were headed to the studio today to start looking at talent for the new show?” 

“I’m in hiding.” Kurt looked down at his mug, a blush coloring his cheeks. “So, I’m doing it here.” 

After sixteen years together, Dave had cataloged a whole array of what he called Kurt-isms, which could be words, phrases, facial expressions, or even the way he held his body. So, Dave knew exactly what was going on. “Rachel still trying to guilt you into a part?” 

“She’s still mad that I didn’t give her Evita, despite the point of the entire show was to have Evita played by a drag queen!” 

Dave just shrugged. Kurt knew his opinion of how Rachel kept trying to leverage their friendship to get roles in Kurt’s productions. He didn’t really think it was becoming of someone you would call a friend. But he kept his mouth shut… mostly. 

He sipped his coffee and rolled his chair closer to Kurt. Stretching his legs out, he rested his feet on Kurt’s knee, immediately Kurt started to massage his feet - Dave moaned in appreciation. 

“God…” Dave moaned, “That feels so good. So, are you just staying here all day - hiding?” 

Kurt put his cup on the windowsill and started to massage even harder, bearing down on the arch of Dave’s left foot. “I prefer to say that I’m spending the day reading actor’s resumes, looking at set designs, giving my husband a foot massage, and trying not to stress about… you know.” He waved a hand vaguely in the air. 

Ah… so they’d arrived at that point in the conversation. 

Dave nodded and wiggled his toes in Kurt’s hand. Yes, he did know. He knew exactly what Kurt was talking about - the fact that it had been ten months since their home study had been completed and they had been officially approved to adopt a child. Almost more than a full year since they’d submitted their application. And in that time, they had been put through the wringer to get them ready. 

The home study had been intense and exhausting, both physically and emotionally. The whole process had been guided by their case worker, Natasha, a powerhouse of a woman with a strong Jamaican accent. She had been there at every step, holding their hands and guiding them - ensuring they didn’t drown in the experience. And as much as they had come to rely on her, they had to constantly remind themselves that she was evaluating them. 

Both Dave and Kurt had faltered so many times, even nearly walking away at one point. They had read how intense the experience could be, but reading and experiencing it were two entirely different things. For months, their home and lives had been evaluated, examined, and criticized. It got so bad, that Dave had started to suffer from insomnia and would sit up awake in the living room, trying to fully comprehend what they were doing and what was happening. 

And although they tried not to let it, the feeling of being violated eventually started to creep in. 

Every little thing was torn apart and examined. All the little details of their lives, things they never thought about, had been cracked open and dissected. Their home had been invaded and questioned from every angle. Light fixtures and how much light they provided, the positioning of their huge butcher block kitchen island, the way every guest room was set up, whether their fireplaces worked, cleaning supplies storage, why they had three cats, and everything big or small in between. 

Nothing about their house was left undiscussed. And worse had been the way their lives inside and outside the house was taken apart. 

Kurt found his entire career under a microscope - how much time did he spend away from home, where was his studio located, did actors or other people often come to the house, or did he work at home most days? Did he drink a lot of coffee or alcohol? What was his regular commute like? Why did he select specific productions over others?

All the day to day things that he never really thought about. He eventually confessed to Dave that despite having a Tony award, he was rattled and unsure of things. Unsure of his career. 

But as intense as it had been for Kurt, Dave had nearly crumbled under the pressure. His insomnia had gotten incredibly bad that one week, he didn’t sleep for four days straight. And he’d decided to go back into therapy again. A fact that worried Kurt incredibly. 

His interviews with Natasha managed to dredge up every single insecurity and fear he’d ever experienced - his self-loathing, the weight issues, not feeling good enough as a gay man or person… all of it. His depression as a teenager and suicide attempt had to be talked about over and over again. 

At times, it felt like he was eighteen again and sitting in his therapist’s office. 

And while Natasha had certainly been impressed that he was a pre-tenure professor at NYU, she had still picked apart his entire professional life. Did his graduate students visit their home? How many days a week was he on campus? Did he still ever have suicidal thoughts? He’d come away from the whole experience burning with anxiety and exhaustion - and usually in tears. 

It had nearly broken him. Both of them. 

But they had clung to each other - holding each other up, every single day. And through the whole process, they’d found themselves supporting each other exactly as they had back in 2012 when they first moved. It had brought them even closer together. 

But now, ten months later, it was done and in the past. And, although they had come through bruised and battered, they had an even stronger marriage, their adoption license, and Natasha’s reassuring words…  _ “You don’t have anything to be nervous about. Honestly, you have both done so amazingly and I know you’ll be fabulous parents.” _

But, the problem was that they had yet to make any headway on that front. They were without a child or even the prospect of finding a child. All the interviews were done. And all the home visits, the background checks, the family and references interviews, the criminal records check, the psychological evaluations, the questionnaires, the histories… After all of it was done, they were left standing shell shocked, unsure, and holding tight to a bunch of promises and reassurances. Wondering when their empty house would become full. 

And as the months went by, Dave tried to hold onto his reassurances. As he had pointed out, he dealt with statistics and data every day, so he knew the odds. Naturally, he had looked up the statistics on adoption in New York State. He knew who they were - white males, both with excellent careers, homeowners, neither with a criminal record, strong family connections, and a deep commitment to their community. They had excellent finances and could easily care for a child - the only debt they really had was the mortgage on the house, and they both had retirement funds and job security. Hell, Dave was a year away from tenure, so he pretty much had a guaranteed job for life. So, he knew their chances. He knew how attractive they looked. So, in some ways, it felt like a given that they would find a child. 

But despite all that - despite knowing that and feeling so sure in the numbers that defined his professional life, they were still empty-handed. 

And yeah, they’d done all the normal things that prospective adoptive parents do - working with Natasha to develop a profile, building a website about them and their lives, making a few inquiries, but so far, nothing had happened. They’d kept their profile and criteria as broad as possible, casting a very wide net. They had no real age restrictions. They certainly had no race restrictions. And Dave had urged them to make their profile as diverse as possible - neural diversity, LGBTQ, health issues - none of it mattered to them. As far as they were concerned, there were thousands of kids in need and any one of them would be perfect. 

But despite all that, they had not heard a single thing, and it was starting to grate on them. They knew this was what happened, sometimes, but it was hard. It felt so passive, whereas both of them wanted to be much more involved in the whole experience. 

It wasn’t as if they were flying blind, they did hear from Natasha once in a while, just to give them an update or to reassure them that they had not been forgotten about or to ask them a question. But otherwise, it had felt like they were completely back to their normal everyday lives. As if the past year had never happened. 

And now, so many months after being told they could adopt, they found themselves sitting in Dave’s sunny office, on the third floor of their house, trying to dredge up that optimism and reassurance all over again. It felt exhausting - to constantly have to look at each other and say “maybe tomorrow!” over and over again. But that didn’t mean they wouldn’t try. 

Dave wiggled his foot in Kurt’s hand, causing Kurt to jump slightly. He’d clearly been trapped on the same train of thought as Dave. It was a train of thought that they both took trips on almost daily. “Kurt,” he said, softly, “We just need to be patient.”

“I know - I guess after all these months, I’m just starting to lose hope.” 

“Hey now!” Dave pressed his foot into Kurt’s stomach, rubbing gently, “Don’t lose hope, Kurt. You remember what we read! Some families have to wait for two, even three years before finding a child.”

“If I have to wait three years, I will go mad. Or agree to have Rachel in my next musical - which would be like having a child.” 

Laughing softly, Dave pushed his foot against Kurt’s stomach again. “Please don’t make me adopt Rachel Berry… I’m not sure my nerves could handle that.” 

“Don’t worry, I promise no Rachel Berrys. I’m just tired of waiting, Dave.” 

“I am too, babe. But short of driving to the agency and demanding they give us a child - which would probably mean us getting our license revoked - there’s not a lot we can do.” 

Kurt turned to look out the window, he sighed and nodded. His face was drawn and sad. It hurt Dave’s heart to see how utterly defeated Kurt looked. He hated having Kurt be anything but overwhelmed with love and happiness, and he’d made it a life mission to do just that every day. No matter what. 

Glancing at the time, he smiled and made an executive decision to force them to relax, “Hey, I have an idea. Want to hear it?” 

Kurt looked back from the window, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth, “Of course! 

“I’m sick of staring at this letter, and I really don’t want to read Michael’s stream of consciousness panic attack. And, since it’s almost eleven-thirty, what do you say we put some clothes on, go for a walk and have lunch. Take our minds off all this?” 

“That sounds perfect. Weird to go for a walk in January, but when have you and I ever done anything normal.” Kurt pushed Dave’s feet off his lap and stood up, holding his hand out to pull Dave up. “Let’s try that new Japanese place that opened up over by the park… oh! And if you really want to play hooky today, we can hit up the Brooklyn Museum and check out that new exhibit we wanted to see. We could have a Kave day?” Kurt let out a small giggle. 

Dave laughed as he stood up. “Oh my god! I haven’t thought of that nickname in years! But yes, let’s have a Kave day.” He could see a glint of metal around Kurt’s neck - the gold necklace with his mother’s wedding ring, which he’d started wearing after their wedding when Burt had given it to Kurt so Elizabeth could be a part of the day.

Stepping in close, Dave lightly fingered the chain as he kissed Kurt with the deep and comfortable heat of a lifelong love. Dave felt a burst of excitement at the thought of a day with Kurt - a perfect date with his perfect husband. They both smiled into the kiss. They might still be in some kind of strange holding pattern, but they still had each other and for right now, that was more than enough. 

-/-

They walked slowly - enjoying their neighborhood on a surprisingly warm January day. As far as Dave was concerned, it really was a perfect afternoon to spend wandering around Park Slope. The sun was out and reflecting brightly on the snow, he was full of excellent sushi, and he had Kurt’s gloved hand in his - how could life get better? 

Well, maybe if there were fewer reminders of what they still lacked. 

Even though they’d hoped the afternoon would sufficiently distract them from everything going on with the adoption, in some ways it actually made it worse. Everywhere they went, they found themselves confronted by dozens of parents, herding small children along in groups. Walking towards the park they’d run into maybe dozens of mothers pushing strollers, then in the park hundreds of kids with their mothers and fathers in playgrounds or running wild across the wide fields. It felt like everywhere they looked they saw families - like they were surrounded by nothing but reminders that they had yet to find the perfect addition to make their family complete. 

So, no matter how good the afternoon was making him feel, Dave’s heart just kept aching from not being able to chase his kid across the playground. Or stop at the popcorn stand with his son. Or carry his daughter on his shoulders through the park. 

He felt Kurt's grip tighten in his hand. Kurt knew that in spite of all the reassurances and beliefs, Dave was anxious about when and who. They both tried as hard as they could to reassure and comfort each other - but sometimes it felt impossible. And when constantly faced with what they wanted, it just felt that much harder to overcome. 

With the warm January sun beating down on them, they walked through Prospect Park, heading towards the Museum. Dave had fully decided to shirk his work for the afternoon in exchange for a Jean-Michel Basquiat retrospective, which was a much nicer way to spend his day. They walked slowly, talking quietly about how Dave could  _ appropriately _ end his tenure letter - Kurt seemed opposed to Dave’s idea of ‘just give it to me, fuckers.’ 

“Dave, I know you’re joking… wait, you are joking, right?”

“Of course, I’m joking - I just hate talking about myself like this. You know I’m not comfortable with the whole “oh, look how amazing I am’ thing.” 

“Honey, it’s not like you’re making stuff up! You’re just listing your  _ many _ accomplishments.” 

Dave sighed, “Couldn’t I just send you to go talk to the committee? You’d do a great job of convincing them, much better than I can.” 

Kurt laughed and gave Dave a small shoulder bump. As they stepped into the Osborne Garden, he started to say something more, “Dave, I…,” but he was abruptly cut off by the sound of Dave’s phone. 

Dave dug into his coat pocket. He nearly dropped the phone when he sat the name on the screen - his chest growing exceptionally tight. “It’s Natasha.” His voice sounded almost like it was coming from someone else. 

They both stopped - almost stumbling over their feet as they stared at his ringing phone. It was as though they both just understood. They felt this strange and sudden electricity in the air - a physical charge that told them all they needed to know. They knew that this was it. 

This was the phone call that would change their lives. 

At first, Dave had no idea what to do - his mind went utterly blank and he felt like running around in circles, yelling incoherently until someone finally made him act. Luckily, Kurt seemed to be thinking for them both. He grabbed Dave’s arm, pulling him towards a bench, “Answer it! Dave, answer it!” 

Sinking down onto a bench, hands tightly gripping each other, Dave looked over at Kurt, “This is it, Kurt. I…” 

“Doctor David Michael Karofsky-Hummel! Answer the fucking phone!”

“Right… sorry!” Dave swiped to answer, immediately putting her on speaker, not caring one iota what other people in the park thought. They both need to hear this. 

“Hi, Natasha.” Dave fought to keep his tone even - although the quiver of anticipation was palatable. “You’re on speaker if that’s okay - Kurt’s here too.” 

Her voice, which always reminded him of rippling water, was quiet, but excited. She laughed softly, before answering, “Hello gentlemen, and yes, that is perfectly alright. Is right now a good time to chat?” 

“Of course,” Kurt’s voice trembled, in fact, his entire body was shaking. “We were just out for a walk, but are totally free to talk.” 

“Excellent! So, I need to ask - are you sitting down?” 

Dave’s entire body gave a shudder when she said that. He opened his mouth to reply, but only a tiny sob slipped out. He felt Kurt’s arms wrap around him, pulling him into a hug, Dave let his head fall onto Kurt’s shoulder - their bodies trembling. Kurt soothed him with a whisper and then answered, “Yes! Natasha, what… what’s happened?”

“There’s a little girl…” 

-/- 

One minute they were sitting dumbfounded on a park bench and the next they were running like their lives depended on it. Dave was certain they were drawing the attention of everyone they raced past - and how could they not?! A large heavy-set man, dressed in a long black wool coat, alongside a slender man in a dark blue puffer jacket, racing through Prospect Park - yelling their heads off about a daughter. They barrelled towards Grand Army Plaza, desperate for a home. 

The desperate need to get home was tied to an email that was sitting in Dave’s inbox - the girl's profile. They hadn’t wanted to read that in the park, no, this was too special - they needed to be in their own home for that. 

Unsurprisingly, Kurt moved gracefully through the park, yelling at Dave to hurry up. Dave, however, wheezed and huffed his way along the path, with the dawning horror of just how out of shape he’d become. Fuck, he really needed to start going to the gym again. But as he stumbled along, he kept thinking of what was waiting for him, so he pushed through.

They crashed into the house, scaring the hell out of the cats, and raced up the stairs. They didn’t bother to take off their shoes or coats, that was unnecessary. Dave’s office was closer, so they made a beeline for it. Dave shoved his desk chair to the side and sank onto the floor, pulling his laptop off the desk. Kurt knelt next to him, wrapping his arms around Dave’s shoulders. “I can’t believe this is happening!” 

Dave nodded and clicked on Natasha’s email, opening the attached link. His eyes scanned the page, a warm rush filling his chest like a rising tide.

“Oh my god, Dave, she sounds amazing,” Kurt whispered as he shifted to sit crossed legged, and pulled the laptop towards him. Which only forced Dave to stretch out on the floor so he could still see the screen. 

Dave scanned through the pages, eyes capturing the necessary information before going back to soak it all in. He was desperate to know everything, to fully understand and comprehend who this little girl was. 

“Dave, read it aloud, I’m crying too hard to see it.” Kurt gave him a shake as if waking him from a trance. Dave just nodded and started to read. 

“... six years old. She has been in the foster system for five years after her mother passed away and her grandparents were unable to adopt her. 

Even though she is one of the sweetest girls ever, she has been through two foster homes - leaving the first when a job opportunity forced the family to move out of state. Unfortunately, her current foster mother is unable to continue the fostering process, due to an illness in her family. But that does not mean she won’t be heartbroken to leave this little girl behind…” 

Dave trailed off, his heart hurting as he realized that this little girl just kept getting shuffled from placement to placement and never finding her forever home. He glanced over the rest of her description - his heart simultaneously growing and breaking. 

She was small and very quiet, which meant people often overlooked her. She was now in danger of becoming a permanent fixture of the foster system because she was graduating out of the golden age of adoptability. Which was utter bullshit - she seemed so sweet and so deserving of a chance. 

Dave stared at her photo, where a small girl stared back at him. She was all dark hair with soft pink skin and delicate features. Her big toothy smile showed off a missing bottom tooth, which he bet she teased with her tongue all the time. And her wide green eyes seemed so much older than six years old. She looked like the sweetest child alive, and Dave pretty much fell in love the second he looked at her. 

“Kurt… she’s...” Dave’s voice was thick with emotion. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d just been waiting for them.

“I know, love. I know.” 

Dave pressed his face into Kurt’s chest, relishing the feeling of those long fingers tangling in his hair. He just felt so overwhelmed and emotional. This was too much. This was a little girl - a potential daughter. Kurt rocked him a little, whispering, “Shhhh, my love. It’s okay. And look, Dave, she lives in Queens with her foster mother, which means it’ll be easy to keep her in contact with her friends if we get her.” 

Sitting up, Dave nodded and wiped his eyes. He was determined to continue reading. His voice was heavy, but he smiled with every word. And every word just made this feeling all the more real. He couldn’t help but feel as though by reading this, they were building a chain that linked them together. 

“... likes playing outside. She is completely obsessed with dinosaurs, space, and rocks. An entire day could be spent just with her coloring books and a huge box of crayons. She has a very curious and inquisitive nature, always wanting to learn and discover new things about the world around her. She’s very intelligent for her age - reading at a grade 3 level, and has already mastered the fundamentals of basic math. Her favorite color is purple and she’d love a home with cats…” 

Dave pulled back from the screen and looked at Kurt, a lack of words on his lips. “Kurt… she’s…” 

“Keep reading!” 

Nodding, Dave continued, “Although she is very quiet, she likes to sing and play pretend - so get ready to hunt dinosaurs! She is a very tactile learner, who needs a supportive environment to give her the structure and love that will help her continue to blossom.’ 

Dave’s voice died out and he sat there - staring at the image in front of him. From the small four by six photo, a gorgeous little girl grinned back at him, full of wonder and excitement. He bit his lip - knowing that he was about to start crying again. He told himself that he shouldn’t get his hopes up - she might hate them. She might not understand or want to have two dads or she might not want to live in their house. There could be a million reasons this could go wrong. 

But it felt… it just felt right. 

How could it not? How could this little girl not be perfect? 

He tested out her name - savoring the feel of it on his lips, the way it sounded, and the way it made him feel. The sense of joy and warmth that filled his chest was enough to make him tremble. He turned to look at Kurt, their wet eyes mirrored each other, as did their tearful smiles. Clinging to each other, they whispered the name that would change their lives forever. 

“Amy.” 


	3. Meeting Amy.

As with everything else about the adoption process, they quickly discovered there was going to be nothing easy about bringing Amy home. While the home study had been stressful, this part of the process almost felt worse - it felt like they were so close, but so very far away from seeing their dream realized. And they found themselves plagued with doubt and the crushing worry of whether they could be good parents to this little girl. Plus, the anxiety of anticipation and waiting was nearly incapacitating. 

And, in days following the phone call from Natasha, Dave once again found himself sitting up in the living room most nights, staring out the front window, racked with anxiety and a deepening sense of paralysis. Would he be a good father? Could he do this successfully? What made him think that he could care for Amy, especially with his past swirling around him. 

Five days after Natasha’s phone call, Kurt found him there, curled up in a chair and wrapped in his huge blue robe, worrying his bottom lip, adrift on a sea of self-doubt. Moving soundlessly across the living room, Kurt knelt in front of him, pulling his face between two cool soft hands. “Come back to me, my love. You know you’re good enough. You know you’re ready - that we’re both ready.” 

Dave’s tired, raw eyes moved slowly to lock with Kurt’s, “I just want her to have a good home.” 

“And she will, Dave. She will. You and I will give it to her. We just need to be strong and ready to help guide her in whatever way she needs us to.”

“Do you promise? I’m scared and I don’t want to fuck this up.” 

“You won’t - you with the heart of gold. Now, come on, let’s get some coffee in you and maybe go visit that lovely therapist of yours.” 

“Okay, yeah. Coffee and therapy. I don’t know what’s wrong with me - it’s like, ever since Natasha called, I’ve become convinced I’m just going to screw everything up. I’m sorry, Kurt.” 

“You won’t. And you have nothing to apologize for. Dave, you’ve been ready for this for a while. Maybe it’s just because we finally might have a shot at being fathers, or… I don’t know. But I know you’re going to be great!” 

“Thank you. I’m sorry I’ve been so weird the last few days, especially when we have so much to do.” 

“It’s okay, I thought you just needed to figure things out, but I’m stepping in now and I’m going to help you along. Maybe this afternoon - after you go see your therapist - we’ll go shopping for some things for Amy’s room.” 

Dave nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Thank you for being confident for us both.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll need to do plenty of boosting for me - all I want is for her to come home. For us to be a family.” 

“I want that too, Kurt. God, how I want that.” 

But it took nearly two months for that to happen. Two long months before Amy was able to come home. 

Before they were even able to meet Amy, they had to meet everyone else in Amy’s life. They had dozens of meetings with Natasha and Amy’s caseworkers, as well as Amy’s foster mother. Meetings meant to see if they were the right fit for each other. The meetings felt like they dragged on for days and days - endless talking about this little girl that they had yet to even meet. 

To Dave, it felt like all they ever did was talk about Amy. Or write emails about Amy, or think about Amy. And yeah, they discovered her likes and dislikes, slowly beginning to understand what kind of a child she was, but Dave started to feel strange doing all of that without involving the little girl herself. 

His irritation eventually hit a boiling point when, over breakfast after a week of back and forth, when he got an email telling him about her favorite outfit. Slamming his coffee down, he grunted in frustration, “I don’t want someone to tell me that her favorite sweater has a unicorn on it, I want Amy to show me her favorite sweater, Kurt!” 

“I know, my love. But this is all part of the process. Dave, we’re being vetted.” 

Dave huffed a reply and went back to his coffee. He hated how this felt like another home study. But he knew there was purpose behind this. That this time it wasn’t just the abstract notion of adopting a child, this time there was a real person - a real little girl - waiting at the end. 

And while they were vetted by Amy and her foster mother, they were encouraged to do the same for Amy - to ask questions that would help them understand how this person would fit into their lives. Something they both threw themselves into by creating long lists of questions - those they wanted to know before meeting her, and those they wanted to ask her in person. 

Dave, as he was wont to do, started to act like he was compiling data about her. He developed a huge list of things they knew about Amy. Her favorite food, which was mac and cheese; her favorite number, eight; her favorite tv show, anything having to do with dinosaurs or Hello Kitty; her favorite book, again, anything about dinosaurs, or Ada Twist, Scientist, which Dave had gone out and bought immediately; and a million other questions. It felt like their questions were endless.

With every answer that Amy’s foster mom sent them, a picture of an amazing little girl began to form. Her foster mom reassured them that while Amy might at first seem shy, there was an exuberant, silly, and hilarious little girl underneath. 

Dave hated the double-edged sword these questions seemed to represent. On the one hand, they reassured both of them and helped them be patient, but at the same time they made him want to jump in their car, drive to Queens, and bring her home. Every answer seemed to endear her to them a little more. 

And with every passing day, Kurt continued to keep him steady, reminding him to be patient. He thanked anyone who would listen for Kurt’s reassuring presence. Kurt kept him grounded, every single day. 

But they both struggled not to fall headfirst into the sheer brilliance of their excitement. They tried to be reasonable with each other, but the overwhelming sensation of almost being parents kept driving them to go that extra mile. They kept forcing themselves to turn to cooler heads for advice or reassurance, which helped - sometimes. Natasha told them to be excited, but try not to get too out of control, while their families told them to relax and be patient. 

Of course, as much as they told Dave and Kurt to calm down, their families seemed incapable of following their own advice. When they told them, the excitement had been nearly palpable over Zoom. 

Burt and Carole had just started crying and began planning a dozen family gatherings. Paul had cried so hard that Dave’s stepmom had made him go lie down for a few minutes. And Finn had raced around his apartment yelling. And a week later, had called them back with a small confession. 

“So, I know you said I shouldn’t buy gifts, but I was at the mall, and kind of went to Build-a-Bear. I made her a firefighter dinosaur, he looks just like Uncle Finn!”

Dave and Kurt had just smirked at each other, both trying not to think of the piles of things they’d already bought. But everything came down to one simple fact - they knew. They knew enough to know that this was the right match. That this was everything they’d been waiting for. They knew that they wanted Amy to come home to them. They were sure - even without meeting her, they were sure. 

And then, they got to meet her. 

Two weeks after Natasha’s phone call telling them there had been a match, they met Amy for the first time. And it was probably the most nerve-wracking moment of their lives. 

The morning of their first meeting, Dave had changed his outfit five times - moving from too formal, to too casual, to just plain weird all in the span of five minutes. Finally, while he was standing in the middle of their bedroom, wearing just his socks and boxers, Kurt walked up to the closet, pulled out Dave’s favorite buffalo plaid shirt and a pair of jeans, and pushed them into his hands. 

“Here, you’ll feel more comfortable wearing this. And put the purple pants away, you don’t need to be the eccentric professor today.” 

Dave nodded and watched as Kurt, dressed in a tight pair of plaid pants, a simple black button-up underneath a dark maroon waistcoat, slipped out of the bedroom. To everyone else, Kurt appeared totally normal, but Dave recognized the nervous hop in his step. 

In the kitchen, Kurt’s nerves exploded out of control, as he paced almost the entire morning, unable to settle down. He moved from the counter to the dining room table to the fridge over and over again. On his fifth rotation, Dave grabbed him, forced him to sit at the table, and drink a cup of tea. 

“I know you hate decaf green tea, but caffeine will just make this worse. So, let’s sit here and drink our weird dirt tea, and calm down.” 

“It doesn’t taste like dirt, Dave.” 

“It does to me. Now drink up.” 

They sat there, holding hands while their mugs of tea grew cold and untouched in front of them. They were both so lost in thought, that when Dave’s alarm went off, telling them it was time to go, they both nearly screamed. As Kurt dumped their tea in the sink, Dave picked up the small photo album they’d put together to give her, and hurried into the front hallway. Although they'd thought about bringing a gift, too many Reddit threads had advised not to, so they’d just settled on the album. 

Standing in the front hallway, Dave closed his eyes and breathed out a long calming sigh as he felt Kurt take his hand. Opening his eyes, he smiled, “Are you ready?” 

“Can yes and no be an answer?”

“I could quote supply-side economics about opposites of valuation to lull you into a sense of boredom and calm… but I’m worried you’d hit me…” 

“Well, you’d be absolutely right about that. Okay, before I end up listening to an introductory lecture, let’s go…”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, Doctor Economics Brain. Now to Queens, we go!” 

As they drove to Queens, they both kept getting lost in their own thoughts - no matter how many songs Kurt put on. This moment kept trapping them in their anxieties and excitement. Dave kept trying to equate this with all the other things he’d done - defending a dissertation, teaching classes of five-hundred students, moving to New York when he was eighteen, or even the gradual rebuilding of his identity after his suicide attempt. And Kurt, who could not stop shaking, kept trying to balance this moment with all the others in his life. Performing in front of an audience on Broadway for the first time, watching his vision of Evita open on Broadway, or accepting a Tony award. The only moment this felt at all similar to was the day he finally asked Dave to marry him. 

The drive passed almost in complete silence, with only the offbeat chords of Kurt’s next musical production, Next to Normal, filling the space between them.

Dave parked their car in front of a small unassuming house, it was white with a pale blue trim and had a For Sale sign out front. They sat there for a moment, the car quietly ticking away as it cooled down. Neither quite knew what to do except stare at the house as a wave of anxiety washed over them. 

“Kurt - I’m scared she’ll hate us.” Dave’s hands were wrapped in a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel as he licked his dry lips, trying desperately to quell the anxiety that had been sitting heavily in his gut since he’d gotten out of bed. All of those anxieties and fears and doubts that he’d been working through, it felt like they were all bearing down on him like a runaway train. 

He let out an involuntary whimper as he felt a soft and cool hand cover his own. 

“My love, she won’t. We’re going to go in there and be ourselves, we’ll talk to her, maybe play with her a little. You can tell one of your stupid dad jokes…”

“I’ve been practicing.” 

“I know. You keep trying your material out on me, remember. But, as scared as we are, Dave, I also believe that you and I are ready - we want to be fathers to this little girl, and she’ll sense that! I know she will.” 

Dave sighed as some of his anxieties melted away at Kurt’s words. “I love you, I hope you know that, Kurt. I love you so much.” 

“How could I not know that! Dave, I’ve known it for sixteen years - I know it through every little thing you do, every single day. I know it because of the way you kiss me and hold me. I know it from the way you make coffee exactly how I like it. Or in the way that you know how much I hate the taste of fennel and will go out of your way to make sure you never cook with it. I know it because there’s a stupid stuffed monkey sitting on a shelf in our bedroom…” 

“Mr. Bananas is not stupid.” 

“No, he is not.” Laughing, Kurt pulled him into a hug. “Dave, I love you too! Now, let’s go meet our future daughter.”

Up close, they could tell the house was a little more dilapidated than they’d first thought - the paint was peeling in places and some of the windows looked like they needed replacing. Kurt pressed the doorbell, before reaching back and grabbing Dave’s hand - they both took a breath as the door opened. Amy’s foster mother, Debbie, a short plump woman with a mane of wild red hair, smiled brightly at them as she stood in the doorway. 

As they walked into the stylish little house, they weren’t at all surprised to see that Natasha was already there, sitting demurely on a small green couch with a cup of coffee in hand. She got up to meet them, offering a wide sympathetic smile. She gripped both their shoulders and, in her lyrical voice, asked, “Are you ready?” 

Dave and Kurt exchanged a look, both with wide smiles growing on their faces. Standing in this little house, seconds away from meeting the little girl who might become their daughter, they were filled with a mixture of nerves and excitement. “Yes!,” Dave said, voice shaking only slightly, “We’re so ready.” 

Debbie took their coats, ushering them to the couch, before bringing them cups of coffee, which they never touched. As they settled on the couch, Dave looked around anxiously, curious as to the whereabouts of a certain six-year-old. Debbie smiled, touched his knee, and told him Amy was upstairs in her room, feeling a bit anxious about all this. 

A feeling that both Dave and Kurt could certainly understand! 

When Amy’s caseworker asked where they would like to meet Amy, Dave looked nervously at Natasha - unsure of what a good answer would be. He didn’t want to intrude on the private space of her room but wasn’t sure what else to suggest. Natasha nodded at the couch, “I’m sure she’d be most comfortable in here.” 

As Debbie disappeared upstairs, they settled on the couch and waited - trying not to faint from anticipation. Dave leaned into Kurt a little - needing the reassuring closeness he’d come to rely on so much over the years, he could feel Kurt vibrating with nervous energy. It was coming off Kurt like heat waves - which would only end up hurting this encounter. He needed to calm his husband down. “Kurt,” He whispered softly, “we need to calm down. If we don’t, she’ll feed off that energy and this will go really badly. Just take a deep breath and let it out slowly.”

Kurt took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. He tried to sound confident, but Dave could hear the fear in his voice. “Like your old relaxation exercises?”

“Exactly. Now, just breathe. Remember, just take a deep breath in, hold it for a second, and let it out.” Dave pressed his leg against Kurt’s, encouraging him to ease into the breathing. He heard Kurt take a deep shuddering breath, releasing it, and then he took another...and another… until the shudder was gone and Kurt had visibly relaxed. 

Dave did the same - needing to suppress the paralyzing anxiety that was threatening to overtake him. And as he did, he remembered all those long-ago therapy sessions that had helped him focus and center himself. Back when his world had felt so fragmented and broken before Kurt became the calming center in his life.

After taking half a dozen deep breaths, Dave finally calmed himself down enough to stop his heart from thundering quite so loudly. It wasn’t quite the calm of waking up on a Sunday morning with only a coffee and The New York Times as his plans for the day, but it was better than the uncontrolled nerves that almost had him climbing the walls a moment ago. 

He could feel the mood of the room shift - something was happening. He opened his eyes and let out a soft sigh, as he turned towards the staircase on the other side of the room, where he saw her for the first time. At first, his mouth shifted into a perfect “o” shape, but then he found himself smiling widely. He glanced at Kurt, who still had his eyes closed, “Kurt…look.,” He whispered.  Kurt opened his eyes and turned, letting out a soft, “Oh my…” And he gripped Dave’s knee, with a huge smile on his face. 

All the nerves they’d both been feeling seemed to drop away as they saw her for the first time. 

Amy was peering out at them from behind Debbie’s legs, her long lashes made her large green eyes seem huge on her pensive and unsure face. And she was staring at them with a mixture of worry and fear, chewing on her bottom lip. But Dave could see a tinge of excitement in those eyes, as though she had been anticipating this moment just as much as they had. As he watched, she slowly brushed a strand of her long black hair away from her face. Her hair was long and full, falling over her shoulders in a wave of curls.

Her nervousness was palpable, almost as if she was hesitant to let any emotion show, not wanting to let her hopes up. A feeling they very much understood, as they were trying so hard not to let theirs get up either. But just looking at her, Dave and Kurt knew their hopes were sailing sky high right now. 

She had on a purple sweater that was threaded through with strands of gold, with a large picture of a unicorn on the front. She also wore a pair of tights covered with shooting stars, which looked like they probably would glow in the dark. Yeah, this kid was pretty damn cool. 

The hand that was visible, was nervously twisting the bottom of her sweater, looping it around her finger and then letting it go - it was something that Dave had seen Kurt do a hundred times. And, just as when Kurt nervously fidgeted, Dave wanted to just pick her up and reassure her that everything was going to be okay.

Dave realized that no one had said anything or moved in almost five minutes, and that was probably not a very good thing. Glancing at Kurt, he could tell by the smile on his husband’s face that Kurt was completely enraptured by Amy, but he seemed rooted to the spot. 

Dave knew he needed to act - he needed to break them all out of this strange stalemate they apparently found themselves in. He glanced over at Natasha and Amy’s caseworker, hoping for some encouragement or indication over what he and Kurt should do. They both nodded towards Amy, with a small wink from Natasha. 

Heart pounding so hard he was certain Kurt would need to drive him to an emergency room in a second, Dave turned slowly on the couch and smiled at her. He tried to keep his voice as steady and calm as possible, “Hello Amy. I’m Dave…” 

Thankfully, in his making a move, Kurt was shaken out of his trance, “And I’m Kurt.” 

Her large eyes blinked at them, watching and gauging them as though trying to figure out exactly what they were all about. But she had yet to say a single word. Debbie leaned down and whispered something to her, giving her a little push, and encouraging her to step forward. 

Slowly, she shuffled forward, stopping after a couple of steps to give them a tiny wave and the world’s quietest, “Hi.” Dave’s heart soared at that tiny whisper. And, as she came into view, he saw that she was clutching a rather large stuffed dinosaur - it was a blue and purple stegosaurus. Dave smiled when he saw it and this time he got a smile back. 

Okay, they got a wave, a hello, and a smile - definitely making progress. 

Wanting to try pushing this a little further, but not enough to scare her, he decided to take a page from his playbook when dealing with nervous students. Often, in an effort to make them comfortable, he tried to get on their level, meeting them at a Starbucks or at least moving out from behind his desk. He always followed his gut when trying to connect with them, and right now his gut told him to get on her level - to reach out to her through something relatable. 

So he slipped off the couch and knelt in front of her. With a calm and reassuring smile on his face, he pointed at the stuffed dinosaur, “I like your dinosaur, what’s his name?”

She tilted her head, considering, then held up the stuffed toy, “This is Stego. He’s my best friend.” 

“Ah! Well, can I say hello to him?” 

She looked at him like it was genuinely madness for an adult to talk to a stuffed animal, but then gave a kind of shrug and moved closer, holding Stego out. Dave gingerly shook one of the dinosaur’s stuffed feet, “Hello Stego, it’s nice to meet you. I must say, I expected you to be much bigger!” 

When she giggled at that, Dave felt like racing around the room whooping. But he turned back to her, still smiling, “And can I shake your hand too, Amy?” 

It happened with a slowness that he would grow to appreciate, but her little hand slowly reached out and slipped into his large one. He gave it the most gentle of shakes. “Hello, Amy. It is so wonderful to meet you.” His voice cracked at the end and he had to close his eyes for a moment. But when he felt Kurt’s reassuring hand on his back, he managed to calm himself. When he opened his eyes, Amy was looking at him with worry, but he just gave her his biggest smile, which was returned. 

Cue second whooping moment. 

Kurt settled himself next to Dave and held out his own hand, which she took. “You know, Amy,” Kurt kept his voice soft, “I love your sweater, what’s on it?” 

She paused and then in the most adult tone imaginable said, “It has a unicorn on it,” almost as if she was confused as to why Kurt would be so utterly blind to this very obvious fact. Dave had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. 

Kurt let out a loud laugh, “Yes, I suppose it does! Very silly of me not to know!” Amy let out her own tiny giggle and shuffled closer to them. 

Dave plopped himself down on the floor, back against the sofa, he patted the spot next to him, hoping against all hope that she would take this tiny invitation. Kurt also settled onto the floor and she moved slowly to sit between them. As she did, this tension evaporated from the room, and Dave felt her slowly start to warm toward them. He leaned towards her, “How are you doing, Amy?” 

“I’m okay.” She glanced at him, still biting her bottom lip. 

“Are you nervous? Cause I am, and I bet Kurt is too.” 

“You bet I am!” Kurt said. 

She nodded, “Yeah. I’m sorry.” 

“Amy,” Kurt whispered softly enough for just her and Dave to hear, “you have nothing to apologize for. It’s okay to feel nervous.” 

“Okay.” 

Dave thought for a moment, remembering what one of his books recommended for a first meeting. “Hey Amy, how about we do something to make you a little less nervous. What’s your favorite thing to do in the whole world?” 

She thought for a moment, then brightened considerably, “Coloring!” 

Kurt, catching on very fast, said, “Well maybe, we could all color together for a while. Would you enjoy that?” 

“Yes!” She crawled onto her knees, giving them both the most brilliant smile, which was something they would learn to almost crave. And as they moved the coffee table towards them, while Debbie grabbed a small stack of coloring books and a very large box of crayons, they watched an entirely new little girl appear. One who was bubbly and excited as she carefully explained what was in her crayon box and which of her coloring books were her favorite amongst her vast collection.

“This dinosaur one is the best. You can color in that one if you like.” She pushed a huge book filled with very realistic looking dinosaurs towards them. “I’m gonna color in my new Hello Kitty book.’ 

The three of them sat on the floor, carefully coloring, while she explained what she loved about Hello Kitty. Dave made a mental note to read up on it - all he knew was that there was a cat and it was Japanese. But if Amy loved it, then he and Kurt would become super fans. 

Although she was very quiet, she clearly wanted to talk to them - telling them about her school and what she was learning, about how much she liked the planet Uranus, because it was the prettiest of all the planets. She talked about her friend, Andy, who was the silliest person alive. She talked about how much she wanted a cat of her own - which Dave and Kurt exchanged a knowing glance over. She resolutely avoided the topic of homes or parents or anything like that - clearly already sensitive to the nuances of these kinds of meetings.

Which just made Dave’s heart hurt. 

She was carefully coloring Hello Kitty’s bow, when she asked, “Do you have a lot of coloring books at your house?” Which, for a little girl who had shown so much maturity already, was clearly a way to slip the subject of homes into the conversation. 

“No, we don’t. But maybe we should buy some, huh?” Dave said, picking up a purple crayon to work on a triceratops's horns. 

“I have a lot in my room, I keep them next to my dino books, maybe I can lend you one.” 

Kurt, catching Dave’s eye, gave a subtle nod towards the stairs, which Dave returned. Placing his crayon down, Kurt asked gently, “Well, that sounds lovely, Amy. We were wondering, would you like to show us your room, Amy?” 

She paused in her work and glanced at them, then nodded with a tiny smile on her face. 

Her room was small but very colorful and comfy. It was filled with bright yellow and purples, one wall was taken up with a small bed. The room also held a little desk and a small bookcase overflowing with books of every kind. She slowly moved around the room, showing them her treasures - a rock collection, her favorite doll, her other stuffed dinosaur, her Hello Kitty stuffy, and, of course, her books. She pulled out a book on the planets, and held it to her chest for a moment, staring at them. Then in the shyest voice either had ever heard asked, “Will you read it to me?”

That time Dave almost did whoop. “Amy, we would love to!” 

She climbed onto her bed, tucking Stego between her legs, and patted the bed, “You can sit up here - it’s big enough, I think.” 

Dave saw Kurt turn away, wiping his eyes furiously, Then, they climbed on the bed, sitting on either side of her. They alternated pages, with Dave and Kurt doing funny voices for all the planets. She seemed utterly enraptured, holding Stego as if he was learning right along with her. 

Of course, the teacher in Dave, couldn’t help coming out, just a little, and he occasionally asked her which planet he was pointing at or if she knew what the Milky Way was. And every single question she got exactly right. He had to force himself not to start dreaming about science fair projects and science for kids camps, or all the science toys he’d want to go buy tomorrow. 

After Dave had asked her if she could name all the planets in order, Kurt leaned over a little and whispered, “He does this all the time - so many questions! He’s very silly with his questions.” 

She looked between them for a moment, before coming to gaze at Dave. She was clearly worried about a negative reaction, but when Dave stuck his tongue out at Kurt, she covered her mouth and started to giggle loudly. 

Dave looked down at her, smiling, “I like my silly questions!” 

“They’re a little easy.” She said quietly. And Dave decided she was probably some kind of genius. 

As they finished the book, Kurt and Dave exchanged a look - deciding it was time for the photo album. Dave pulled it out of his shirt-front pocket, gently asking, “Amy? Would like to see a few pictures of our lives?” 

She nodded and smiled as Dave held out the book, so they could all look. She touched the cover - which was just a photo of the Brooklyn Bridge. But when he opened it to the first photo, she made a little ‘“Oh!” noise. The photo was their favorite wedding photo - the two of them sitting on the rim of the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, holding hands. 

“This was the day we got married,” Kurt said, tapping the photo. “It’s one of our favorite photos and we thought you might like it.” 

She just stared at it, silently. Her eyes were wide with wonder. “You look so fancy.” 

Dave nodded, as he looked at his younger self - a moment of utter fulfillment frozen in time - his eyes sparkling with a love that had yet to diminish. “We do, Amy. This photo always makes me happy.” 

She nodded and touched the photo, her smile growing just a little. 

As they moved through the photos, she didn’t say much - just blinking and giggling over certain photos. Then, they came to the cats. 

“You have cats?!”

“Yes, three of them. Here, this is my favorite photo of one of them.” Dave flipped the page, revealing a cat dressed as Captain Hook. 

She laughed and clapped her hands over her mouth, “You dressed your cat up like a pirate!” 

Dave nodded and tapped the photo, “That’s Keynes, my Pirate Kitty. He was so mad.”

Kurt held out his hand, there was a small white scar on his thumb, “I have the battle scars to prove it!” 

She laughed even harder and pressed her face against Dave’s arm, her little legs kicking in joy. The moment her face pushed into his bicep, his heart kind of stopped and he had to stop himself from breaking out in tears or from putting an arm around her. 

Kurt, obviously noticing this, asked, “Amy, would you like to see our house?”

“Yes!” 

Dave, wanting so badly to hug her, flipped the page to reveal their house. She reached out and touched the photo. “You live there?”

“We do,” Dave said, “It’s my favorite place in the world.” 

“How come?” She asked curiously, peering up at him. 

“Yeah…uh… it's the place where I feel the happiest, where no matter how bad a day I have, I go home and I’m happy.”

“Why?” 

Without even thinking about it, Dave just gave the absolute honest answer, “Because it’s where Kurt is.” He saw her look over at Kurt, and that small smile appeared on her face again. This time it was Kurt who clearly had to struggle not to be overcome with emotion when she snuggled closer to him. 

Dave started to flip over to the last photo but paused. He glanced at Kurt, making sure they were both ready for this. At Kurt’s nod, he asked, “Would you like to see one last photo, Amy?” 

She nodded earnestly.

This photo was a risk, and although Dave and Kurt had been worried it felt too much like a bribe, they'd been encouraged to include it by Natasha, Amy’s caseworker, and foster mom. The photo was of a nearly empty room - what would eventually become Amy’s room. All that was there right now was a low loft bed, the underneath of which Dave planned to turn into a little play area for her, as well as a wide dresser, and a small desk under the window. 

“This, um, this would be your room if you decided you wanted to come live with us.” 

She reached out, her hand hovering over the photo. “My room?” 

“Yes, Amy,” Dave said quietly, “Your room.”

“Wow.’ Her fingers brushed the photo gently. 

Kurt reached out, hesitantly, and stroked her hair. “We know it’s not all that fancy right now because we’d want your help making it your own - as we could put in purple curtains, or lots of dinosaurs or even Hello Kitty stuff. But this would be your room, Amy - and you’d be able to do anything you wanted in it.” 

She reached out and took the little album from Dave, just holding it and staring at the photo of the nearly empty room. Softly, she said, “Oh.” 

Dave tapped the album, “Amy, those pictures are yours to keep, okay?” 

Nodding, she sat there for a moment, flipping through the photos again, stopping at their wedding photo for a moment. Then, she slipped off the bed and went over to a small Hello Kitty purse that was hanging on a slightly worn coat rack in the corner and slipped the album into the bag. 

She saw them looking at her and shyly said, “That’s my special place, all my favorite things live in there.” 

Dave and Kurt just looked at each other, fighting not to cry. A battle that got a lot harder when she climbed back onto the bed and held their hands. “I’m glad came to visit me. Can we read some more?” 

Dave had to let Kurt do most of the reading, his throat felt too tight. 

They were reading about Hello Kitty having a sleepover, when Natasha knocked on the door, to let them know it was time for the visit to end. 

And, as hard as it had been to walk into that house, walking out of it was so much harder. As Dave put his jacket on, he looked down to see Amy watching him with that same anxious look on her face she’d had when they’d arrived. He knelt down, tugging Kurt’s arm to do the same. Keeping his voice as soft as possible, he said, “I’m sorry we have to go Amy.” 

She stepped closer, “Will you come back?” 

Kurt nodded, eyes watering, “We will, Amy. We promise.” 

She stood there awkwardly for a moment. Her eyes focused on the ground, she seemed so small and sad. But then, she jumped forward and threw her arms around them. Her small arms stretched to encircle both their necks, pulling them close. The moment he felt those arms around his neck, there was no way for Dave to stop the small sob that escaped him. He hugged her back just as furiously as she was hugging them. 

He knew without a single doubt that this little girl would be his daughter. 

As they slowly drew back, Dave smoothed down her hair, his eyes bright with tears. He wanted to give this little person the world, but now he’d have to settle for little moments. “Amy, is there something special you’d like to do with us when we visit you? We’ll do anything you like.” 

Her answer was short and simple, and would be one they’d hear often over the years - “Can we go see the dinosaurs at the museum?” 

“Absolutely.” Dave and Kurt said in unison.

-/-

The visits continued. 

They knew it was not uncommon for these ‘get to know each other’ visits to last a month or two. They were meant as a way to make sure that the child and prospective parents got along with each other. That they would be able to build a life together. But with each subsequent meeting, it got harder and harder to say goodbye. 

Sometimes they met multiple times a week, usually in Queens and going to neighborhood parks, or getting ice cream. Once, Natasha and Amy’s caseworker brought her to Brooklyn, and they played in Prospect Park for a while, before going for a walk through Prospect Heights. Amy had been enthralled looking around their neighborhood as she walked between them, holding both their hands. 

The night of that meeting, Dave’s insomnia had come roaring back. Not from anxiety over his ability to be a father, but anxiety over Amy and what she was doing. Was she sleeping or was she also awake? Was she warm enough, or scared or nervous? Was she thinking about them? he‘d been so racked with the need to make sure she was okay, he’d nearly driven to Queens, just to check on her. 

It was one of the first insomnia episodes that Kurt didn’t wake up during, and he never told Kurt about that night, or his obsessive thoughts; however, his students certainly suffered the next day. But as dreadfully grumpy as he’d been all day, he’d gotten a call around lunch that changed his entire mood. 

He’d been sitting on a bench in Minetta Green Park, eating tacos from the little Mexican place nearby, when Natasha called. He’d managed to choke down the last quarter of his pork taco, followed by a huge swallow of iced tea, before answering. 

“Hi, Natasha!” He coughed heavily into the phone. 

“Hello, David. Are you alright?” 

“Yes, yes. Sorry, I tried to swallow too fast before I answered my phone. What can I do for you?” 

“Oh! Alright… if you’re sure.” 

“I am, I promise.” He smiled at her obvious concern. 

“I had a quick question for you. I’m wondering what you and Kurt were doing on Saturday?” 

He closed his eyes, a tiny gleam of hope in his chest that this would be the call - that he’d be able to skip his afternoon class and go find Kurt at the studio with the news. “We don’t have any plans.” 

“Would you like to spend the afternoon with Amy at the Natural History Museum? I really hope you can!”

Although it was not the news he’d wanted, there was something in her voice that made him realize he had to say yes, not that they’d ever say anything else. “Of course! We’d love to.” 

That night, after he told Kurt about their new plans for Saturday, they’d sat in their living room - fire blazing and Mo-Town playing quietly - it had been Kurt who finally said it. “Dave, this feels different from all the other meetings. Like this could be it.” 

“I can’t get my hopes up, Kurt. I just can’t.” 

I know. But I’m not sure if I can help it.” 

Dave had stared into his wine glass, frowning. “I know. God, Kurt, I know.” 

Dave woke up that Saturday with a weird sense of anticipation, like this, was much more than just a regular visit to a museum. Like whatever happened today was going to be about much more than just looking at some dinosaurs. He took longer than usual to dress and get ready - eventually settling on a vintage Super Mario bros t-shirt, a plaid button-up, jeans, and his now ancient leather jacket. He forewent his contacts for his chunky glasses, which Amy had not seen yet. 

When he came downstairs, Kurt smirked at him, “You look like one of those hipster dads.” 

“Should I change?” He asked, suddenly very worried. 

“No, but hipster dad might get lucky later.” 

“Hipster dad has no problem with that!” Dave wiggled his eyebrows seductively. “Now, come on, let’s go hang with a six-year-old and talk about dinosaurs.” 

His good mood lasted until they got to the museum and were waiting at the top of the stairs, having already bought tickets. He was looking up at the building, a frown on his face. 

“Dave? Are you okay?” 

“Yeah - I guess I just want to know, you know? Like, all I want is to go inside and buy a family membership, because I know we’ll be bringing her here a lot, but I’m not allowed to because we haven’t gotten the official green light.” 

Kurt sighed, frustrated at the number of times they’d had this talk and the sudden shift in Dave’s mood, “Dave, I think it’s a pretty foregone conclusion we’re adopting her! We’ve seen her every week for almost two months.” 

“I know Kurt, I just... “ he sighed, unsure of how to express himself. “I know we’re not supposed to think of her as ours, I know we’re supposed to let this happen all organically and naturally, but I’m ready and I keep thinking she’s ready too.” 

“I feel the same. I do! But we just need to be patient.” 

“I just… I adore her so much, Kurt.” 

“I do too, Dave. And She ador…” 

“Dave! Kurt!” The sound of her tiny yell derailed Kurt’s reassurance. They spun around to see her running up the steps, with Natasha and Amy’s caseworker following quickly behind. 

She was wearing a little yellow winter coat with Hello Kitty gloves and a green knit hat. Her long black hair was streaming out behind her and her face was glowing with a huge smile. 

They dropped to their knees and pulled her into a tight hug. “Hello, Amy!” 

“You’re wearing glasses, Dave!” 

“I am! Do you like them?” He pulled down to the tip of his nose and crossed his eyes.

She giggled and pushed them back up on his face. “You’re silly!” 

“That he is!” Kurt gave her a tickle, “Are you ready for museum adventures, Amy?”

“Dinosaurs!” She screamed. 

As they stood up, Dave swooped her up into his arms and put her onto his shoulders. Then he gave both caseworkers a smile, and the three of them turned to walk into the museum, while Kurt asked Amy all about her week. 

“I told Andy about you cause Debbie said I could! He wants to meet you!” 

“That’s amazing! We’d love to meet him.” Kurt said, catching Dave’s eye - this meant something. Their conversation from the other night suddenly felt all the more present, but neither were ready to think about it. Not yet - there was too much hope already. 

She seemed to know exactly where she was going, guiding Dave from atop his shoulders, until they got to dinosaurs when she insisted on being put down, only to yank them towards the large Stegosaurus fossil. 

Her excited voice seemed so much louder in the vast cavernous room, “Did you know the Stegosaurus only ate plants and it was as big as a bus! And it had all those plates! They were for protection - I think! And... “ She seemed like a fountain of knowledge about her friend the stegosaurus. In fact, every single dinosaur they looked at, she knew a fact about it - even if it was, “it’s big” or “it’s small.” 

Occasionally she would ask one of them to lift her up so she could see a fossil better, or a few times, she asked them to read her the information plaque. “Dave, can you read that to me?” 

He looked at her, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He wasn’t at all sure he’d ever met a six-year-old who wanted to read an information plaque at a museum! “Sure, darling, let’s learn all about Apatosaurus.” He heard Kurt’s soft chuckle as he leaned in next to them, waiting for Dave to educate them. 

As they were slowly making their way out of the museum, with Amy still rattling off dinosaur facts to Kurt, Dave turned to Natasha, “Can we buy her something? Would that be okay?” They had been good up until this point, avoiding all gifts except food and a coloring book. But he wanted to buy her something to commemorate this afternoon. Something for her to remember this experience. 

The two caseworkers looked at each other, before Natasha said softly, “Honestly, Dave, we’re surprised you two haven’t done so yet! Of course, you can get her something.” 

Dave beamed at them, then grabbed Kurt and Amy, dropping down onto one knee. “Amy, how would you like to go visit the store?” 

She stared at him - wonder written across her face - then she nodded. And started tugging them towards the museum store. Kurt looked at him, “Dave? What about…” 

“Natasha said we can! I just want to buy her a stuffed animal Kurt, please.” 

It was the reassurance of Natasha that sold it for Kurt, who nodded enthusiastically as he’d been desperate to shower the girl with gifts. “Yes! Come on!” 

Naturally, she made a beeline for the dinosaurs, staring in wonder at the stuffed dinosaurs. They both got down next to her, “Is there one you like?” 

She looked at them, her face written with indecision. She seemed completely unsure of what to do, as though being asked if she wanted a stuffy was so foreign to her. 

“Amy,” Kurt said, “If there's a dino you like, we’ll get him for you.” 

Slowly, she reached out and picked up a decently sized triceratops - his colors matched Stego. “May I please have this one?” 

“You certainly can, thank you for asking so nicely,” Kurt said, beaming at her, as Dave happily took the toy up to the cashier. 

Holy fuck, he thought, I’m buying my daughter a toy! The emotions of the moment felt overwhelming. As he was paying, he saw a small stegosaurus keychain and tossed that in too. He knew he was going to spoil this little girl and he just could not bring himself to care - he wanted her to never want for anything. 

As he handed her the triceratops, she hugged them both with a rather tearful, “Thank you!” It was amazing to feel her vibrate with joy at getting a gift. When he gave her the little keychain, she held it like it was some precious jewel, before putting it in her little bag. As the keychain disappeared into the bag, he saw that the photo album they’d given her was there. He beamed with joy at that, and he saw Kurt was doing the same. 

Outside, as they hugged goodbye, she seemed so reluctant to go, looking at them over her shoulder as she walked down the steps with her caseworker. They waved until she was out of sight, both of them with tears on their faces. 

Once she slipped out of sight, they realized Natasha was still standing to them. She had a huge smile on her face. “So, gentlemen, that went well!” 

“Yes,” Kurt said, wiping his eyes. “It did!” 

“I have some good news for you.” She took a pause, as if building up to the moment, “I’ll be calling you this week with a date.” 

Kurt gripped Dave’s arm, whispering, “A date?” Dave was struggling to breathe - his heart was pounding very loudly in his ears. 

“Yes - we need to work out a few logistics, and get the final papers signed - I’ll send those to you by Wednesday - but we’ll have a date by Friday, I think.” 

Finally, fighting to catch his voice, Dave choked out, “Does this mean…” 

“Yes, gentlemen. Amy will be coming home with you. Congratulations.” She smiled. 

Dave pulled Kurt into his chest, both of them letting out a massive sob. Kurt buried his face into Dave’s chest, crying softly, while Dave just stood there, this feeling of “oh holy fuck” building inside of him. He swallowed thickly and whispered, “Thank you, Natasha, thank you.” 

She nodded and hugged them. 

They stood there, after Natasha had left, just trying to absorb in the fact that it was happening. It was really happening - Amy was going to be their daughter. Dave kept looking at the museum, a growing sense of need flooding him. He shook his head and shot forward like a bullet, right back into the museum. 

“Dave!?” 

He ignored Kurt’s startled cry and rushed back into the museum store with Kurt hot on his heels. He almost ran up to the cashier, “Hi! That poster you have, the one of the stegosaurus, how much is it - the framed cartoon one?” He pointed at a large poster that he’d noticed earlier. It was of a blue stegosaurus, looking confused while it ate. Weirdly, he felt decidedly like Scrooge with the prize goose, like something had just woken in him that was never going away. 

The cashier looked at him, then pointed to a rack of posters in the back, “It’s back there - they’re like fifty bucks, but we frame for an additional hundred.” 

“Perfect! Thank you!” He rushed towards the back, grinning like a madman. 

“Dave! What are you…” Kurt was laughing as he rushed after Dave. 

“I’m buying art for our daughter’s room - come on! It’s a giant stegosaurus, she’ll go mad for it.” 

-/-

The call came a week later. Jokingly, they were going to bring her home on April 1st. At first, they’d laughed at Natasha’s timing, but she promised them it was not an April Fool’s Joke. She was clear on that. Just as she was clear on the fact that the consensus was overwhelming - Dave and Kurt were going to be Amy’s parents. And she’d be coming home in less than two weeks. 

That entire night, Dave and Kurt had sobbed, unable to stop crying happy tears. They cried on the phone with Natasha. They cried together in every room of their house. They cried on Zoom with Burt, Carole, Paul, and Ciara. Then, they cried on FaceTime with Finn and later Az.

And, around dinner time, just as they were sitting down with containers of takeout Thai, they got the best call - Amy. Her little voice sounded so far away, but it was brimming with excitement, “Hi Kurt. Hi Dave. Debbie says I get to come home with you! For real!?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart! You’re gonna come home with us. We’re so happy you want to live with us!” 

“I am too!”


	4. Bringing Amy Home

Dave grunted as he slowly opened his eyes, his brain still muddied with sleep and the lingering vestiges of a dream - something about having to catch a train to be on time for something important. He blinked as the room around him slowly swam into focus. 

Sitting up slowly, he was relieved to find he was in his bedroom and not some cold foreign train station. No, this was his beautiful bedroom - all soft muted browns and deep plush royal blues. He was in a room that always lulled him into a sense of security and happiness. He flopped back to stretch out on his king-sized bed, snuggling a little deeper beneath their huge and ultra-comfy duvet and sheets with a thread count higher than his 401K. 

He could see the tall plant by the window and the wall-mounted shelves filled with personal photos and mementos of their lives - photos from his doctoral graduation, a stuffed monkey, photos of opening night for Evita, a framed Playbill, and of course a million photos of friends and family. 

Smiling, he shifted onto his side to look at his bedside table, reaching for his phone on top of the tall pile of books on adoption that he’d been obsessively reading and re-reading for the last year and a half. It was barely seven-fifteen in the morning. 

Grunting softly, he reached for his glasses, almost knocking over his wedding photo in the process. Sitting up again, he noticed that the space next to him was empty. The curtains were open and the room was flooded with bright early morning light. Clearly, Kurt had been up for a while and was giving Dave subtle hints to get up. He was not at all surprised that Kurt was already up. He would actually be surprised if Kurt managed to actually sleep; they’d both been filled with nervous excitement last night, and the only reason Dave had fallen asleep was because he'd taken a melatonin before bed. 

As he looked around their bedroom, Dave found himself filled with that same nervous energy. Today was the day! Oh, holy fuck. Today they were bringing Amy home!

Bursting with excitement, he leapt out of bed like a five-year-old on Christmas morning. He was filled with the promise of watching his family grow today. They had so much to do! So much to get ready and think about before they got to bring her home. Forgoing a shirt, for now, he hurried out of the bedroom, intent on a cup of coffee, and already running through the checklist in his head. 

He needed to get the booster seat into the car unless Kurt had done that already. Plus, they'd wanted to pack some treats and maybe a few little activities for the car ride back from Queens. He also needed to make sure they took the little NYU hoodie he’d bought her, in case she got cold. Oh, and they needed to make sure they had everything for dinner - he didn’t want to drag her off to the grocery store on her first day here. 

As he rushed out of the bedroom, he almost crashed headfirst into Kurt, who was standing in the doorway of Amy’s room. He was already dressed in an emerald green button-up, dark slacks, and long black cardigan sweater, and he was staring at the room with a look of mild concern. 

Dave pressed a kiss into Kurt’s cheeks, “Hey babe, good morning!” 

Not even bothering to return Dave’s greeting, Kurt asked, “Will she hate the curtains?” Kurt didn’t take his eyes off the room in front of him. He shook his head slowly, “Or did we pick the wrong dinosaur pictures - I mean, she said she liked the ones we found, but what if they’re wrong?” 

Dave stepped behind Kurt, hugging him tightly. He looked at his daughter’s room, which was really the coolest thought he’d ever had! And as much as he wanted to get lost in thoughts of Amy, he had had to put his husband hat on right now. He squeezed Kurt, “Babe, think about her. She loves purple - literally every shade of purple there is, you’ve seen that crayon box. And she got so excited when we showed her all the dinosaur pictures we bought. She will love her room, and she’ll love her home. I promise.”

Kurt sighed and leaned back against him, “I know you’re right. Like intellectually, I know it. But emotionally, I just… worry.” 

“I do too! But let’s not let that ruin today, okay? Let’s enjoy today! Let’s just… let’s have an awesome day bringing our daughter home.” 

Kurt relaxed in Dave’s arms, turning around and snuggling into Dave’s bare chest, “Deal. Of course! God! What am I doing? There’s no reason to act all weird and stressed out over the curtains  _ she _ picked out with us! This is the best day of our lives! So, let’s enjoy it!” He pulled Dave down for a kiss - growling softly as their tongues swiped at each other. 

Dave laughed and eagerly returned the kiss, happily remembering their ‘let’s take our mind off things sex’ from last night. Kurt pulled back, smiling, “Okay, let’s get some coffee in you! And then you need to shower. God! It’s really happening!” He kissed Dave one more time before moving down the hall, towards the stairs. 

As Kurt disappeared down the staircase, Dave took one last look at the room. It was completely unlived in. They had kept the room off-white, except for one accent wall that was sky blue with little white clouds that Kurt had spent hours stenciling. On the large window, just above her yellow desk, were bright purple curtains. They’d found a glow in the dark dinosaur comforter and purple sheets, which were cheerfully tucked into the raised bed. Underneath, they’d created a little reading and play area, with a plush rhinoceros storage chair, a large plush rug, and a toy chest. On the wall next to the bed, Dave had built a series of cubbies, filled with books, every possible kind of art supply they could find, toys, and tons of space for whatever treasures she wanted to fill them with. Kurt had set up a little corkboard with a sign, Amy’s Memory Board, hanging above it on the closet door - ready for her to make her own. 

And hanging above the bed, was the giant stegosaurus poster from the museum, plus what felt like dozens of other dinosaur cartoons around the room. 

Dave smiled at the empty room. Then he gave himself a shake, he didn’t have time to waste wondering about her reaction, he’d get to experience it in just a few short hours. Today, he was becoming a father. As he rushed after Kurt down the stairs, he found himself already feeling like a dad. 

-/- 

“Okay, sweetheart, are you ready to go inside and see your new home?” Dave unlocked the front door, smiling down at Amy, who was holding tightly onto Kurt’s hand. She was gazing up at him and the door with eyes that were wide with wonder. As she nodded, Dave grinned and threw open the door with a flourish, “Alright, then…M’lady, here we are!” He bowed deeply, extending his arm out to usher her inside, smiling as both she and Kurt laughed at him. 

Gingerly, she stepped inside - her eyes in constant motion, taking in everything around her - the dark wood of the front hallway that always smelled like wood polish and roses, the small row of hooks for coats, the wide doorway leading into the living room, the almost grand staircase leading up to the bedrooms and offices, and all the other little touches Dave and Kurt had populated their home with. 

She slowly turned around in a circle, clutching Stego and Trico, the stuffed triceratops they’d bought her two weeks earlier. “Wow,” she breathed. 

As she stood in the hallway, neither Dave nor Kurt could see any trace of the tears and sadness that had so overwhelmed her an hour ago. Amy’s goodbye with Debbie had been tearful and heartbreaking. She’d clung to Kurt, crying while waving goodbye to the place she’d called home for two years. 

But she seemed to find a new resilience as they drove out of Queens, tears drying once the excitement of what was happening started to settle in. She grew excited and bubbly, asking questions about the car and what was happening out the window and telling them about her morning. All the while, holding Kurt’s hand in the backseat. 

When Kurt had pulled out a bag of trail mix, she’d beamed excitedly and munched away, explaining that Debbie always forgot snacks when they went places. She had seemed so much like a little girl excited for this adventure.

However, now that they were in Dave and Kurt’s front hallways, that enthusiasm waned, and she seemed almost struck dumb with anxiety. She was clutching Stego and Trico in one hand while playing with the sleeve of her new NYU hoodie with the other. 

Dave and Kurt glanced at each other, unsure of what they should do, finally, Dave gave a small nod towards her. Kurt moved around to face her, and got down on one knee, lightly touching her hand, “What would you like to do, Amy?” 

Her eyes looked unsure and confused, she shook her head, “I dunno.” She sounded completely overwhelmed. 

“Well, do you know what I think?” Dave moved to lean against the living room doorway, striking a look of nonchalance, which he did not necessarily feel. He smiled down at her. 

She looked up, her face seeming to soften at his reassuring smile, “What?” 

“I think you should go take a look in the living room, and then maybe we can have a little lunch?” He gave her a wink. 

She smiled and glanced at the living room, then took a couple of small shuffling steps forward, stopping just on the other side of the doorway, a tiny “Oh!” escaping her. Dave knew she’d seen the large banner they’d hung over the fireplace - it was a series of little pendants that spelled out, “WELCOME HOME AMY!” Her eyes grew even wider as she saw the small pile of gifts in front of the fireplace. They were mostly things Burt, Paul, Finn, and Az had sent, but there was also a large welcome basket from Dave and Kurt. 

They’d filled it with a few stuffed animals, tons of coloring books, more art supplies, some candy and chocolates, a few books, and a family pass to the Natural History Museum. And Dave could tell she had totally not been expecting any of this from the little squeal of surprise as she leapt forward. But before her foot even touched the living room floor, she stumbled back, a quiet, “I’m sorry,” tumbling out of her. Her voice was small and worried. 

Dave and Kurt just glanced at each other, before they knelt down in front of her. Dave reached out and took her hand, screwing his face up into a look of worry. “Why are you sorry, sweetie?”

“I forgot to take my shoes off!” 

“Oh!” Dave smiled and laughed softly, “Honey, I forget to do that all the time.” He tugged her forward a little, wanting to reassure her that he almost  _ always _ forgot about his shoes. “You’re allowed to forget, okay? Remember, this is your home. Yeah, we’d like it if you took your shoes off, but it’s okay if you forget, once in a while.” 

She looked at them as if they had just informed her that she could go rob a bank, but then took off her shoes and placed them neatly next to theirs by the front door. Then, she moved back into the living room, pausing to look at them, shouting, “Are these for me!?” At their nod, she sprinted towards the gifts - fingers brushing the basket gently.

Kurt settled himself down next to her, “We wanted you to feel at home, so thought a few surprises might help! And your grandparents and Uncle Finn sent you some things too.” 

She looked back at the gifts as if they were the greatest thing in the whole world, “Wow!” She reached out and touched one of them - smiling at the way the paper crinkled under her touch. “Can I open them?” 

Dave cleared his throat, trying to make sure Kurt - who looked like he wanted to help her just tear into the gifts - remembered the plan of lunch then gifts. Both Kurt and Amy looked at him - Kurt giving him an evil eye. But he was determined not to give in. “Amy… uh… maybe you’d like something to eat, first? And then, you can open your gifts, okay?”

She gazed at the gifts with a longing that felt so real, she whispered a quiet, “Oh… okay, thank you.” but Dave could see how badly she wanted to open her gifts, and he felt his resistance wavering. 

He looked at Kurt, who was nodding at the gifts, encouraging Dave to give in. Dave sighed softly, knowing he was beaten. “Okay, how about one present and then lunch!” She yelped in joy and tore open the first gift she managed to get her hands on - a dinosaur knit hat from Burt. She immediately pulled it on and beamed up at them. 

“I love it!” 

Kurt pulled out his phone and took a photo, then gave her a hug before ushering her into the kitchen. 

Over lunch, they talked a little bit about house rules. It wasn’t something they wanted to do on their first day, but every book said to do it, and Natasha had emphasized how essential it was. They had even made a little sign to hang in the kitchen. They’d kind of expected her to just nod and agree, but she gave every single word her absolute attention as if this was the single most important thing in the world.  _ Never let cats out. Always be respectful of each other. Always be honest. No hitting. Always ask permission before doing something you’re unsure about. Love each other. _

“Are you okay with those rules, Amy?” Kurt asked. “Is there anything you want to add?”

She nodded, chewing her avocado toast slowly, “I like the last one. But I can’t think of anything to add, Kurt.” 

“We do too, sweetie,” Dave said, reaching out to stroke her hair. “And we mean it - we promise to always love you.” 

“I promise too.” 

“That’s god, thank you for being so understanding. And if you ever want to add a rule, you just have to tell us and we’ll talk about it as a family, okay?” Kurt smiled as she continued to eat happily. 

Dave caught Kurt’s eye. They wanted to get the next conversation over with, it was something they’d talk about endlessly over the last few weeks, and no matter how nervous they were, this was important to them both. Kurt breathed out and said, “So, Amy, we wanted to talk about one more thing, please.” 

She looked up from her plate with her worried expression. Dave reached out and took her hand, “It’s nothing bad, okay, we just to tell you something. Remember we promised to always be honest with each other.”

She nodded. 

“That’s all we want to be right now, is honest with you,” Kurt said gently. “We want you to know that we really want you to feel at home here and that you are part of our family, okay? And we know you might not be ready for this, but we’d like to call ourselves your dads. So, would you be okay if I call myself Daddy…” 

“And I’m Papa,” Dave finished.

She sat there chewing and blinking, finally, she gave a tiny nod. They both visibly relaxed at that, but they weren’t quite done. Kurt nodded at Dave. 

“But we want you to know that you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. If you just want to call us Dave and Kurt, that’s totally fine. If you’re ever ready to do something different, we’d love that, but you never need to to feel… uh… like you need to. We’re fine with Dave and Kurt, okay?” 

She chewed slowly for a little longer, then said, “Okay. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, sweetie.” 

They weren’t quite sure what to expect next - and had been expecting her to get upset - so, it was pretty fantastic when she pushed her empty plate away and looked back towards the living room, with a huge smile on her face. “Dave, Kurt - may I go open my gifts now?” 

“You bet we can!” 

She squealed and raced towards the living room, it had been the most childlike thing they’d witnessed so far. They followed, hands clasped and beaming. 

-/-

It was long after midnight by the time Dave and Kurt finally settled into bed - exhausted from everything that had happened. Dave rolled over and snuggled into Kurt’s arms, sighing deeply. 

“I’m so tired, Kurt.” 

“Me too. But…it’s a good tired.” 

“The best tired. I can’t believe she’s home. And I can’t believe my dad bought her that craft table!” 

“David - she spent almost the whole evening drawing at it, as far as I’m concerned, your father is a savior. Although we need to buy another roll of that paper.” 

Dave moaned as Kurt rubbed small circles into his back. He was already nearly asleep from Kurt’s soothing touch, but the whole day just kept playing out in his head. They had spent almost all of it playing - mostly coloring and drawing at her new crafts table, as well as a little meet and greet with the cats. Keynes and Judy had followed Amy everywhere, while Winston hid in their bedroom. 

Then Dave had made dinner - mac and cheese, by request, which they’d eaten in the presence of Finn’s firefighter bear, aptly named, Mr. Fire. After dinner, they all watched some Shaun the Sheep on Netflix, until Amy dozed off against Dave after an hour. So, they’d carried her off to bed - making sure to try and make bedtime a little production, as advised by adoption books. Everyone had to change into their pajamas, teeth brushing, and then tucking her in with a story. 

They’d switched on her nightlight, casting little stars across the ceiling, and reassured her that they were either downstairs or across the hall. They made sure she knew to come and get them right away if she needed them. No matter what. 

Now, as Dave pressed his face into Kurt’s chest and settled into the calming warmth of sleep, he felt completely satisfied at the phenomenal job they’d done today. He felt Kurt sigh contentedly, also almost asleep. 

Dave lay curled into Kurt, one arm flung over his side. It had been years since they slept like this, usually preferring to spoon each other, but something about today made Dave want to nest deeply into Kurt. 

When the first scream rang through the house, they both came instantly awoke. In the deafening silence that followed, it was almost as though they’d dreamt the sound. 

“Dave… did you hear something?” Kurt whispered in the dark. 

“Yeah, I think…” His whisper was cut short by a second almost blood-curdling scream. They flew out of bed and sprinted across the hall. Dave was vaguely aware that he was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts, but he was too freaked out to care. 

Bursting into Amy’s room, Dave slammed his hand against the light switch, throwing the room into the stark reality of the overhead light. Amy was sitting up in bed, knees pulled up to her chest, crying. 

“Amy!” Their terrified cry was simultaneous as they hurried over to her. Dave reached out and picked her up, cradling her to his chest as Kurt wrapped his arms around both of them. She pressed her small face against his chest, her hot tears running down his skin. “What happened, sweetie?” 

“I had a nightmare!” She wailed against his chest. 

Dave looked at Kurt, mouthing ‘What do we do?’ Kurt just pointed to the floor. So cradling her, Dave sank down and shimmied them into the little play space under the bed. He was still clutching the sobbing girl to his chest, rocking her slowly, “It’s okay, sweetheart. Do you want to tell us about your dream?” 

“You were gone! No one was here! The house was empty!” 

He again looked at Kurt, willing his husband to do something - he was at a loss. Slowly, Kurt shifted closer and rested his head on Dave’s shoulder, so he could look at her. “Amy? Honey?’ Kurt’s voice was soft and reassuring, “Can you look at me?’ 

Her little head moved, making sure she stayed pressed against Dave but could look at Kurt, “Yeah?” She sounded so miserable. 

“I want you to listen to me, okay? Do you remember our promises earlier - the list of things we all agreed to?”

“Uh-huh.” 

“Well, here’s one more, okay? Papa and I will never, ever leave you alone. You will never wake up and find us gone - one of us will always be here. Right, Papa?” 

Dave nodded and pressed a kiss into Amy’s hair, “Absolutely, we will never leave you alone - you’re our little girl - our family - and you don’t ever leave your family alone. Not ever. Daddy and I will always be here.”

She sniffled and whispered, “You don’t leave family alone.” 

“That’s right sweetie,” Kurt said softly, leaning in close and kissing her nose. “And we promise, never to leave you alone or leave without telling you where we’re going.” Dave felt her smile against his skin at Kurt’s words. He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled thankfully at Kurt.

“Amy, would you like us to sing to you? That always made me feel better and helped me fall asleep.” Kurt asked.

She nodded. 

Then the soft sound of Kurt’s almost angelic voice filled the room. He lowered his voice to a near whisper - the soft and loving lyrics resonating in the room. Amy shifted in Dave’s arms to look at Kurt - eyes sleepy, but interested. 

“Really, Kurt? Adele?” Dave whispered, but he’d forgotten how nearly perfect Kurt’s voice could be.

“Just sing the song,  _ Papa _ .” 

Dave chuckled and slowly continued to rock her gently, his deep rich voice mixing in harmony with Kurt’s countertenor. He could feel Amy’s breathing deepen as she slipped back into sleep, hopefully for a night filled with only the greatest of dreams. Because that’s what their daughter deserved. 

_ I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now \ I'm heading straight for you \ You will only be eternally / The one that I belong to _


	5. Messy Amy

**{One Month Later}**

Dave turned away from his desk towards his reading chair, expecting to find Amy in her usual spot, happily working away on the giant stack of coloring books that were now kept on the windowsill. But the chair was empty, except for Stego, which was incredibly strange. 

He looked around, brow furrowed. Had he been so oblivious to the world that he hadn’t noticed her leave? He supposed he had been, his tenure letter was due in one month, so he was trying to spend at least a few hours every day on it. Plus, most evenings after she went to sleep.

And he knew Amy and Kurt were both hoping for another dramatic reading of this draft. 

Dave stretched and looked around the room - there were signs of Amy everywhere, especially in the drawings that he’d tacked up on the wall opposite his desk, underneath a large banner that said “Amy’s Art Gallery.” He knew Kurt had a similar gallery space in his office. And he saw a small pile of her toys, neatly gathered together in the corner. He was consistently shocked by how neat Amy was, she seemed like the least messy kid he’d ever met. 

She had adjusted amazingly well! There were still occasional nightmares, but those were easily soothed with a song and some cuddles. And while she sometimes pushed a boundary or two, overall, she just seemed to fit so nicely into their little family. In fact, it shocked them how rarely they needed to discipline her or get upset - for the most part, she was quiet, respectful, and just seemed like a well-adjusted little girl. 

He and Kurt were always surprised by how little she seemed to expand into the house. Her things stayed in her room or their offices, where she liked to spend time when they were working. Her dolls, toys, and other things rarely ventured into the living room or kitchen - except for her art supplies, which she kept neatly at her craft table in the living room. Her tendency to be neat and tidy shocked them, as they’d expected their house to be overrun with her stuff. 

Dave swiveled around in his chair, half expecting her to just pop out, but no such luck. He frowned, it was unlike her not to announce if she was going to get a snack or needed something. So, deciding that he’d had enough of his letter for today, he would go find her. He stood up and stretched. As he did, his shirt rode up embarrassingly on his stomach - exposing a large bulge of skin and hair. Sighing, he once again decided that maybe he needed to start jogging in the mornings or something. 

Dropping his glasses down on his desk, he made his way out of his office - stopping to poke his head in to check on Kurt, who was turned away from the door, head bent down over a pile of resumes. No sign of their errant six-year-old. He hurried to the second floor to check the bedrooms. Her room was empty, as was their bedroom - except Winston and Judy, asleep on the bed. 

He stopped and listened - the house was deathly silent, only the quiet whoosh of the furnace blowing air. But not a single sound to suggest there was a six-year-old anywhere. 

Suddenly worried that she might hurt herself by trying to get something to eat, he hurried down the stairs - ready to call out to her. Her name died on his lips as he skidded to a halt at the bottom of the stairs, and once he got a look at the living room. It was like walking into the middle of a warzone. 

The living room was a disaster of construction paper, crayons, pillows, blankets, and toys. One of her dinosaur stuffies was dangling off of a table lamp next to the couch. And, as he stood in the doorway of the living room, a single sheet of paper fluttered down from the air - as if it had waited for this moment to make a dramatic entrance.

And standing right in the middle of the mayhem, was Amy, staring at him in abject terror.

He stepped into the room, looking around, completely stupefied. “What on earth…” He heard a small sniffle and looked down at his daughter, who appeared to be about seconds away from totally losing it - she was blinking rapidly at him, her face a mask of complete fear. 

“Amy… what happened?” He couldn’t quite understand what was going on - he looked around again, as though hoping for some glaring sign as to why his living room looked like a hurricane had passed through. And he was utterly confused as to why she seemed so scared. When he looked back at her, he saw she was full-on crying now. 

His worry spiked at that and he hurried to the other side of the couch, squatting down in front of her. “Amy!” He stroked her long back black hair, reassuringly. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Are you okay? Tell me what happened.” 

“I..I...I just wanted to play with Keynes! And we played chase - I didn’t mean to! Honest! I just got...I just got excited...and I’m so sorry!” Her cries were rising in intensity, almost becoming a wail, and she was starting to shudder. She looked at him with a broken expression and cried, “Please don’t send me back!” His heart shattered into a million pieces at that.

He pulled back slightly, shaking his head in surprise. “What?!” He didn’t even affect the quiet and gentle tone he normally took with her, this was straight-up shock. “Amy...what?!” 

“I don’t want you to send me back because I made a mess! Your house is so pretty and smells so nice and I ruined it! I made it all messy - please don’t make me go back! I love it here with you!” She sniffled, her wide wet eyes staring into his. 

Dave rocked back on his heels, stomach wrapping itself in knots as he shifted from worry to shock to utter horror at the sheer misery this little girl was going through. And all because she threw a few pillows around. 

His face drew down in sadness as he thought about how neat and tidy she’d been over the last month - that wasn’t who she was, that was a protective measure to make sure they didn’t decide they didn’t want her. Oh… Dave’s heart broke for the hundredth time in the last minute as he realized the mess around him was a true representation of this little girl, and she was trying so hard to be someone else, just for them. 

Looking around at the mess, he almost chuckled as he realized that he’d caused far worse messes. He flashed back to the grad student apartment they’d lived in next to Columbia while he was writing his dissertation - and how often Kurt would come home to an explosion of paper, coffee mugs, dirty dishes, and a fiance nearly weeping in frustration. 

He thought fast, trying to figure out how to help her - how to ease this hurt and fear. Normally, they would hug her and make a million promises, but this time, action would mean so much more. And to start, he’d abide by their biggest house rule - always be honest. He needed to show her that there was no way she was going anywhere. 

“Amy, sweetie, just take a deep breath okay.” 

She nodded and took a little breath, giving a tiny hiccup at the end. He smiled widely at her, rubbing her back. 

“Okay - so, sweetheart, I want you to listen to me very carefully, we are never  _ ever _ giving you back, okay? You’re ours and we’re yours.” 

“But the mess?” Her voice sounded so worried.

He smiled and leaned in a little, a thrill of excitement running through him as he was about to show a side of himself that always made Kurt roll his eyes and grumble. “Amy, I'm going to tell you a secret, okay.” 

She looked confused, but he could see a smile playing at the corner of her mouth as she nodded. He had her attention. “A secret?” 

“Yes - it’s a secret because not a lot of people know about this - just daddy, grandpa, and now you.” He lowered his voice to a whisper, “Do you think you can keep it a secret for me” 

She whispered back, “Yes!” 

He motioned for her to come closer, “I have to whisper it in your ear.” 

She giggled and moved into his arms, pressing her ear against his mouth. 

He whispered, “I love being messy. I can make a mess ten times this size.” And then he grabbed a handful of the stuffed animals that were piled haphazardly on the couch and tossed them in the air. He laughed at her amazed gasp. 

He looked at her with a wicked grin as he grabbed the pile of magazines that Kurt had carefully arranged on the coffee table and started to fling them around the living room. Once that was done, he dove across the couch, grabbing all of their new pillows, and started throwing them in every direction, before doing the same to the actual couch cushions. 

He looked back at her - she looked completely shocked and was staring at him as though he’d completely lost his mind. He laughed and threw his arms wide, his chest heaving, “Well? What are you waiting for, kid? Let’s make this place messy! Let’s show the world what kind of mess Amy and Dave can make!” 

She continued to stare at him for a second, still worried, clearly trying to figure out if he was tricking her. But when he grabbed a pile of papers that were sitting on a side table and threw them up in the air like confetti, her small face broke out into a brilliant smile. She grabbed some of her stuffies and tossed them up. She was laughing and started racing around the room hollering in joy. 

“That’s the spirit!” He jumped up and gathered together a pile of her drawings and tossed them above his head. She laughed in joy as they rained down around the two of them. 

“Amy! Can you play catch?” 

“Yes!” 

He grabbed Trico and tossed it at her, “Then catch!” She caught it and tossed it back at him, throwing wide, forcing him to dive and catch it. He knocked the coffee table with his shoulder, sending an arrangement of candles careening off the table. He landed with a loud “Ooph! Ow!” She flung herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck, giggling furiously. 

“Uh oh! You know what happens when you make a mess, Amy?” 

“What!?” She screamed and laughed. 

“The tickle monster comes out!” And he began tickling her - her breathless screaming laughter echoing throughout the house. She attacked right back, her small fingers digging into his stomach. 

He laughed and squirmed. Damn, the girl was quite the tickler. 

They had just started throwing even more stuffed animals around while trying to crawl away from each other to avoid more tickling when a loud voice stopped them in their tracks. “What on earth is going on here!?” 

Dave rolled over onto his back, pulling Amy with him, so she was sitting on his stomach. He was panting and he could tell that his clothes and hair were a mess. Kurt was standing in the doorway, hands-on hips staring in horror at the warzone that was his normally immaculate living room. 

Dave just beamed up at him, “Hey, babe!” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Amy - equally as disheveled - watching Kurt with a look of slight fear, which just wouldn’t do. “We were making a mess!” He cried and tickled Amy again. 

“Oh… uh, okay? Um… why?” Kurt’s pissed off expression suddenly started to morph into one of worry and concern. Clearly, he had heard the slight warning in Dave’s voice that told him to tread cautiously. 

Dave tickled Amy a little more, she squirmed and giggled, then he said softly, “So Amy knows that even if she makes a mess, we’re  _ never _ giving her back. That there is nothing in this world that’s going to make us do that.” 

The look on Kurt’s face was of such shock and surprise as he looked down at them. His hand flew to cover his mouth, “Honey? You… do you think we would do that?” 

The little girl just blinked at him, which, based on the widening of Kurt’s eyes, was enough of a confirmation. Then Kurt looked back at Dave, his expression changing to one of absolute determination - it was a face that Dave knew well. It meant that whatever was about to happen was going to be awesome. 

“Wait right here!” Kurt shouted and spun on his heel, running out of the room. 

“Kurt?!” Dave called, “where are you going?” He hadn’t exactly expected Kurt to bolt like that, but still, that sense of anticipation grew. 

All he and Amy heard was the sound of Kurt’s feet thundering up the stairs and then a loud thump. It sounded like he was in their huge storage closet. Kurt’s voice carried down the stairs, “Don’t move! Stay there!” 

Dave looked at Amy, who just looked confused, so he gave her a little shrug. He hated how much of a little adult she seemed. He wanted her to look like a little girl! A little girl who didn’t worry about all the things that she worried about. Who wasn’t scared she’d be given away or not loved. Dammit! He was going to prove to her that she was loved. 

“Amy?”

She looked down at him. 

“I love you, Amy Bear. And I promise you’ll be with us forever, okay.” He was surprised at the depth of emotion in his voice. 

She touched his face, and whispered, “Dave Bear.” 

He laughed and hugged her, “That’s right, I’m your Dave Bear. I adore you so much, sweetie! Please know that Kurt and I will never ever let you go! Not for anything.” 

She hugged him back and gave a little sob, which turned into a yelp of surprise as Kurt reappeared, dragging a massive tote behind him. Dave pushed Amy to sit up, she was shockingly not that heavy on his gut. He grinned at Kurt and laughed, “Oh my god! Your costume trunk!” He didn’t even know Kurt had kept this thing - it had disappeared after Kurt’s final year at Tisch! 

Kurt dropped it on the ground and sat down next to them. He shoved aside a pile of stuffed animals, then plucked Amy off Dave’s stomach to nestle her on his lap. “Okay, so Amy, you know how Papa works with numbers all the time…” 

Dave was about to object, but shut up when he saw Kurt giving him a look. Well, he’d just have to clarify over dinner. 

“Dave spends a lot of time with numbers.” She agreed earnestly. Again, a misconception, he’d have to correct. 

“Right, so do you know what I do?”

“You make stories on stage.” 

“That’s right! And do you know what that means?” 

The little girl shook her head. 

“Well, I make magic happen….” 

“It’s true!” Dave said as he pushed himself into a sitting position and shifting over to the trunk, “He makes the coolest magic happen.” Kurt pulled the top of the tote off. He motioned for Amy to look inside - she carefully stood up and moved to peer into it cautiously. 

“So,” Kurt continued, “I make magic - but before I can, I have to make a huge mess! And I like doing that with costumes and theatre sets and all kinds of things like that! So, here is everything you will ever need to make the biggest mess in the world. Would you like to see it?” 

She nodded and leaned a little closer to the trunk. Kurt just grinned and started pulling things out. 

First, he yanked out a long purple feather boa, which he wrapped around Amy’s neck. Then a huge “Robin Hood hat” appeared, which he plunked on his head. Another boa appeared, which got wrapped around Dave’s neck. Kurt paused. He leaned back and inspected Amy and Dave, before nodding and then gave this gleeful laugh. With that, he started to yank handfuls of items - dresses, jackets, shirts, pants, dozens of hats, an array of feather boas - the collection seemed endless. 

Amy just stood there - watching with huge eyes as the living room was transformed into a hurricane of color, fabric, and sparkles. As a shower of glitter rained down over them, she laughed and clapped her hands. 

Dave foresaw vacuuming for weeks to deal with all that glitter. 

“Do you like feathers, Amy?” Kurt asked, practically cackling with excitement. 

“Yes!” 

He reached in and pulled out a huge handful of colored feathers, which he tossed into the air over her head. She lifted her face into them and jumped in the air trying to grab as many of them as she could - laughing madly. When she looked back at them, her smile was huge and joyous. She looked like a little girl, in love with her life and her play. 

For a moment, she seemed frozen to the spot. And it felt like nothing was going to happen - that all three of them would stay like this forever in a room filled with sunlight, color, glitter, and feathers. Then, with a loud laugh, she leapt at them. Her small arms wrapping around Dave’s neck, hugging him tightly. Dave put his arms around her and hugged her back, but she unwound her arms and reached out to Kurt, so she could hug him at the same time. Dave wound an arm around Kurt and pulled him even closer. 

Dave could feel himself starting to cry. He whispered loud enough for both of them to hear, “Amy, I swear to you, we are not ever going to give you back! Not for being messy. Not for crying. Not for nightmares - nothing will ever make us not want you! I swear. I promise…” His tears overtook him, and he buried his face into Kurt’s hair.    
  
“We both do!” Kurt was also crying. And they could hear her small cries. 

They sat there, hugging, for a really long time - long enough that the cats came downstairs to see what all the noise had been about. Judy started to chase some of the feathers still drifting in the air.

Eventually, Dave lifted Amy off his lap and plunked her between them. They sat with their backs against the sofa, surveying the damage. 

“Well, I wonder if we can train the cats to clean.” He muttered softly, which got him a giggle from Amy and a laugh from Kurt. 

Kurt put his arms around Amy, squishing her to him. Dave couldn’t help but think that with his hat askew, he looked very much like a uber fashionable Robin Hood. 

Giving Dave a wink, Kurt said, “I think we should leave it like this - who needs New York chic when you can have Amy Awesome.” 

Dave leaned back, also looping an arm around Amy - his fingers grazing Kurt’s shoulder. “I agree - Amy Awesome looks way better in here than anything else we’ve done. What do you think, Amy?” 

Amy sat there for a moment, silently staring at the state of the living room, then she pulled her knees up to her chest and pressed her face into it, and started to cry again. 

Dave looked at Kurt with a panicked expression, Kurt just shrugged, equally as worried. So, Daves shifted so he was facing her, and gave her a tight hug, “Oh, Amy! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” 

She pulled her face away from her knees and wailed, “I’m happy!” The utter anguish over the situation caused Dave to laugh softly, earning him a dirty look from Amy. 

Kurt, also with a smile on his face, leaned into her and pressed his cheek against her hair. He kept his voice soft but light, “Sometimes when I’m so happy I don’t know what to do, I start crying too - that happened the day I married Papa. But, Amy all we want is to make you feel happy and that you’re a part of this family because you are. And if you want to talk about how you’re feeling - we can, okay? You just need to be honest with us, remember? Or we can just sit here for a while, but as long as you remember that this is your home - and you can do anything you like. You can go anywhere you want… well, maybe avoid Papa’s office, because that’s all just numbers and like really boring.” 

“Hey now!” Dave scoffed, smiling at Kurt over Amy’s head. But Amy giggled - which was a great sign. 

“It’s true!” Kurt laughed. “Your office is the most boring place in this house! But this is your home, Amy and if you make a mess, make a mess! Just remember to tidy up a little after - or ask us to help you. I know it’ll take time, we’ll do anything we can to help make this feel like your home, okay? But we love you, Amy, and we’re so glad you came into our lives. Right, Papa?” 

Dave leaned in and pressed a kiss into Amy’s hair. “I couldn’t have said it better myself. We are so happy you’re here. This is your home - and you get to live in it however you want to - messy or not, okay?”

She nodded and whispered very softly, “I like the chair in Dave’s office.” 

Laughing, Dave stuck his tongue out at Kurt, “See my office is  _ not _ boring!” Then he looked back at Amy, “How are you feeling, Amy?” 

The little girl pulled her face off of her knees and leaned into Dave, hand reaching out for Kurt’s. She sighed and whispered, “A little better, thank you. I’m glad this is my home.” 

“We’re very glad it’s your home too!” Dave took her little hand and gave it a squeeze. “And if you want to play in the living room, you can. As long as you’re careful not to break things.” 

“Maybe…” Kurt started, tapping a finger against his lips, “We need to make a play space in here too, a space that’s just for you.” He pointed over by the window where they had a low table filled with photos. “What if we moved that to the other side, and put your crafts table there and made a space for toys and things? Thoughts, Papa?” 

“I love it! In fact, I think we should go to Little Things Toys and get one of those play tent things - it can be your spot.”

“That’s a great idea!” Kurt said, beaming, “We can get some big pillows and maybe a string of lights. What do you think Amy?”

She nodded, staring up at them with a smile on her face. 

“Excellent!” Dave nodded, looking over at Kurt - they had one of their silent exchanges. It was pretty obvious that they needed to change the dynamic, otherwise one of them was going to end up crying again. And frankly, Dave just didn’t want more tears today. So, he decided to throw caution to the wind. “Okay, I have an idea. Who wants to hear it?” 

Amy’s tiny voice answered, “I do.” 

“I think we deserve to eat out! And Amy needs to experience Peppino's for the first time…” 

“Now that, my husband, is a great idea!” 

“You gotta let me finish!” Dave laughed, and whispered to Amy, “He always interrupts me!” which got him a slap on the arm from Kurt and a giggle from Amy. “Okay…” He continued, laughing, “I think we should stop at the toy store, see if we can arrange for some play tent action, and after dinner, we can go get gelato. But have a real Amy, Daddy, and Papa night. What do you say, Amy? Wanna go on an adventure with us?” 

She nodded, her small body strumming with excitement and joy. 

“Okay, then…” Dave said softly, “I think you should go get your jacket and shoes!” 

She flew off the floor with a loud “yay!” erupting out of her as she bolted for the doorway. She had just started up the stairs when she looked back, “What about the mess?” 

Dave tilted his head to look at her. She was upside down, so he crossed his eyes at her and smiled, “I told you - I’m going to train the cats to do housework. The three of us will never have to lift another finger again. Now get going! I’m hungry!”

She giggled loudly and bounded up the stairs. As they heard her thumping around in her room, Dave turned back to Kurt, “Hey.” 

“Hey, yourself,” Kurt whispered, trailing a hand down Dave’s cheek. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, I uh… was I okay? Was it okay that I made a mess in here - I just wanted her to stop feeling so sad.”

Kurt reached out and pulled Dave towards him, pressing their lips together, “Dave, you were perfect. The mess is perfect. I promise.”

“Thank you.” He leaned into the kiss, sighing softly. As he pulled back, he whispered, “You were amazing too, I love you.” They could already hear Amy’s feet pounding back down the stairs. 

“I love you too. Now let’s go get our girl some pizza and spoil her a little.” 

Dave grinned as Amy bolted back into the room, her yellow coat on and dino hat squished down on her head. As she leapt at them, hugging them tightly, Dave felt as if this really was going to work out. As if his little family was going to be just fine. 


	6. Epilogue - Amy and Her Dads

**{Five months later}**

Dave could hear them laughing at him as he bounced around the kitchen, his body moving in time to whatever extremely happy song was playing through the hidden speakers in the kitchen. As he did a little hustle over to the fridge, which was covered with drawings of Hello Kitty and dinosaurs, he did a little spin and grabbed the bag of bean sprouts. 

Moving back to the counter, he could hear Amy laughing at him. “You’re just jealous of my dancing!” he called over his shoulder. 

“Is that what you’re doing?” Kurt asked from the table, where he and Amy were blowing up balloons. 

“I am a very good dancer! Amy likes it, right Amy?” 

“You’re the silliest dancer!” She yelled, giggling. 

“I’ll take it - silly equals good! Sounds like a pretty logical equation to me.” Dave set to finishing up their dinner - Vietnamese noodle bowls with grilled chicken, one of Amy’s favorites. As he worked he glanced up and found himself smiling at a photo of the three of them with their entire family on the steps of the New York Family Court House. 

The adoption had been finalized three months ago. It had also been the day when she got her first taste of the intensity of her new family, when everyone - literally, everyone - showed up at the courthouse to celebrate. But she was all theirs - and she seemed to have settled brilliantly into her new life. She still called them Dave and Kurt, but they were hopeful. They had, after all, heard her refer to them as her ‘dads’ with her classmates at Park Slope elementary school. 

Life was awesome! They were fathers to the best six - nearly seven - year old in the world. And this weekend was all about the awesomeness of Amy. 

Tomorrow, she was turning seven and they were having a huge party. All the grandparents were arriving in the morning. They expected Uncle Finn and Uncle Andrew, plus Uncle Az, Aunt Clara with cousin Jamal to show up before bedtime. Almost all of Dave and Kurt’s friends were popping around, as well as the entirety of Amy’s second-grade class. And, of course, Andy with his mom from Queens. 

There was also apparently a dinner out to celebrate Dave’s tenure, but he couldn’t care less about that. This weekend was Amy’s. 

The house was already filled with balloons, streamers, and a massive “Happy Birthday Banner” hanging in the living room. And upstairs, hidden away was a giant 6 foot stuffed Stegosaurus, a Barbie Dream House, and a Millenium Falcon Lego set. 

There had been no stopping Dave when he found out she liked Lego and Star Wars.

Dave sprinkled some extra peanuts over Amy’s bowl, “Hey Amy?” 

“Yeah?” 

“What do you call a fake noodle?” He asked as he picked up two of the bowls. He could hear Kurt’s groan. 

“What?!” She was already giggling. 

“An impasta.” He grinned as he wandered into the dining room, as Amy and Kurt shoved a truckload of yellow and gold balloons to the side. 

“Good lord, David!” Kurt sank his head into a hand. 

“Thank you, Dave.” She smiled as he placed the bowl in front of her. 

“You’re welcome, honey.” He ruffled her hair, as he kissed Kurt. “I’ll grab mine, you guys start. And my jokes are  _ funny _ !” He moved back towards the kitchen. 

“Dave?” Amy called out. 

“Yeah, honey?” 

“May I have some milk, please?” 

He paused, considering trying out his milk joke on her, but it still needed work, he and Az would trade notes. Instead, he nodded, “One milk coming up! Kurt, do you want anything?” 

“How do you feel about finishing that wine from last night?”

Dave gave him a thumbs up, as he grabbed the chilled bottle of rose and, after a moment's hesitation, the carton of chocolate milk. You only turned seven once, after all. 

“So,” he asked, as he settled at the table, “who’s excited about tomorrow?” 

“I am!” Amy shouted around a mouthful of chicken. Her face lit like a flame with excitement and eagerness for her birthday together. 

Kurt rolled his eyes and softly started reminding her to chew and swallow before talking, while Dave chuckled softly and said around his own mouthful of food, “We need to probably set food aside for Finn, the man always eats us out of house and home when he visits - he’ll go straight for the fridge tonight.” 

“Oh my god! You two with your table manners!” Kurt said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. 

“Sorry, Kurt,” Amy said, but giggled at the wink Dave gave her. “And don’t let Finn eat my cake, okay?”

“If he touches that cake, he’ll be spending his morning in Soho trying to get another dinosaur explosion cake from Flour Shop. I put that order in months ago.” Kurt grumbled, fully aware that Finn’s stomach would overrule his rational mind. 

Dave sat there, sipping his wine, watching his husband and daughter discuss the best cake security protocols against Finn. He realized that it had been almost two years since he’d sat in this room reviewing their adoption application. Two years since they’d sent that form out into the unknown - completely unsure of what was going to happen. And now, everything felt so different. 

He had a family -  _ they _ were a family. It was like this little girl had been meant for them. That she had been waiting just for them - this perfect little person to complete the family that Dave held so precious to him. She was their little girl - their dinosaur-loving, chocolate obsessed, incredibly polite and overall perfect little girl. She still got scared at night - but a cuddle from Papa and a song from Daddy always soothed the nightmares. Once in a while, they saw her look at them with an expression of concern - worried that something might go wrong. But then they’d hug her and love her and chase her around the house like the t-rexes they were. 

Amy was theirs. And they were Amy’s. 

A family. 

“Oh! I forgot - I bought chocolate ice cream for dessert, but if you want some you have to tell me, why is ice cream so bad at tennis…”

“Oh my god, Dave!” 

_ {Fin - for now}  _

_ Amy, Dave & Kurt Will Return _


End file.
